Evolution Devolution
by caraniente
Summary: Struggling with his inner hollow, Ichigo disappears, afraid of the risk to his family. Over a year later, his reiatsu is detected - then disappears. Soul Society, struggling with Aizen's new order, send a team to investigate. IchiHime, RenRuki.
1. Prologue

**Summary:** Struggling with his inner hollow and unable to keep control, Ichigo leaves in order to protect his family. Over a year later, the teenager's reiatsu is detected spiking in a nearby town - but then winks out. Soul Society, struggling to face up to the threat powed by Aizen's new order, send a team to investigate and, if possible, bring back the teenager.

* * *

_I've been wanting to do a Bleach story for a while, but I just haven't had that spark of inspiration for a story – there's so many good fics and writers on here that I didn't really feel I could contribute!_

_However__, without wanting to give too much away, I was intrigued by some recent aspects of the Hueco Mundo arc, and I've decided to play with it. This will deviate from canon!  
_

_This begins after the Soul Society arc, but before the appearance of the Vaizards. The majority will occur much later. I'm not 100% decided which pairings will make it into this story – it'll probably be IchiHime with a touch of RenRuki. However I tend to go with the flow and see where the story takes me, so as yet that could change, and I welcome suggestions/votes!_

_It's listed as Ichigo and Renji because I'm a bit of a Renji fangirl so he'll probably feature fairly heavily :)_ _I'm partially tempted to make it IchiRen instead, but I'm not sure I can make it work here... might write a separate something for that pairing!_

* * *

_**PROLOGUE**_

The world came sharply back into focus at the same moment that Ichigo's legs gave way. Dropping to his knees, panting, the teenager props himself upright with Zangetsu, slowly becoming aware of the blood and ichor staining his torn shinigami uniform.

Somewhere beneath the rasping of his own breath, he is half-aware of the cackling laughter echoing in his head.

"Fuck…"

It was the second time this week. He didn't even have to go into Bankai anymore, the walls between he and the _thing_ inside his head were so weak that it seemed able to push him out of his own body anytime he fought.

It had just been an average hollow… nothing to get excited about. Except that Shirosaki (as Ichigo had dubbed the cackling white figure) had clearly wanted to play with it – the scattered white bone fragments and ichor staining are the proof of that. He almost pities the Hollow – Shiro's 'playing' was never gentle.

Pulling himself together, he moves away from the scene, leaping over the rooftops easily. He needs time to think, and so he goes where he always goes – to the river.

Sitting beside the bank, he stares out into the murky running water. Even now, he can hear the laughter in his head. Concentrating, he reinforces the crumbling walls, building them up again, though he knows it won't take long before the aggressive hollow beats them down again.

He was losing control. _Losing his mind._ Every time it was quicker, harder to push the hollow back down into the depths of his soul. It terrified him. Every time the hollow took over, he wondered whether this time it would do real damage. The hollow's mind was a black hole, lacking compassion, lacking empathy, lacking a real _soul_ – people were just playthings for his own amusement. Ichigo spent less and less time at his home, afraid of what the thing might do to his family, to his sisters.

He'd become a shinigami to protect his family! He'd followed Urahara's crazy ideas and regained his powers to protect Rukia. And yet, those 'crazy ideas' had left him stuck with something that could destroy him, as well as everything and everyone he cared about.

It wasn't_ fair!_

There was no way he could be rid of the hollow – he'd tried asking Urahara, who'd umm'ed and ahh'ed and waved that fan of his around until Ichigo had felt seasick. Eventually he had managed to get the truth – the transformation was permanent, and the only way the hollow would die was if he did.

Thoughtfully he runs a thumb along the blade in front of him, a line of blood welling around Zangetsu's sharp edge. He stares at the dark red liquid, transfixed_. Could he do it? Would it be worth it?_ Maybe. To protect his family, his friends. Maybe even to save himself before he lost his mind completely.

"_Don't be a fool, King…"_

_Shut up, Shirosaki._

"_You know you won't do it."_

_Yeah? Watch me._

"_You won't."_

Cackling laughter rings around his head.

"_If you die, King, then who's gonna watch out for all those poor weak fools? They ain't got a chance without you… Aizen'll chew 'em up and spit 'em out, and you know it."_

_So I should sit around and let you take over?_

More laughter.

"_Who knows, King? Maybe I ain't as bad as you think. I got no interest in those fuckers, anyway. Why don't you gimme a chance, hmmm? Could be fun. Let out all that repressed anger you've been chewin' on all this time..."_

He could feel the presence inside him growing stronger again even as they spoke.

"You're not taking over me, Shirosaki," he says aloud, standing up with fresh determination in his eyes.

The hollow was right. Aizen was strong – too strong. And Ichigo might be the only one strong enough to take him on. He'd beaten Kenpachi, even Byakuya… They might need him.

But he wasn't going to put his family at risk, either. And the longer he battled for control, the more the danger to them.

He _would_ get stronger. If he couldn't destroy the hollow, he would find a way to either lock it up forever, or work with it. _He wouldn't let them down.._

Swinging Zangetsu into place on his back, the teenager sets out for home.

Not that it'd be home for much longer.


	2. 1 News from the Front

_First of, thanks to all those who reviewed/alerted from the prologue – I was really amazed at so much response just from that! I hope you like the story itself now :)_

_Please do review and let me know your thoughts – I really want to improve my writing so let me know what you like/don't like. Even if you just wanna tell me I suck, though if you do at least tell me why I suck and what I can do to improve it!_

_Lastly, pairings will now definitely be IchiHime/RenRuki, because this chapter was just asking to be written as RenRuki… _

_Anyway, on with the story. This chapter (and the rest of the story) is set ~14 months after the prologue. No-one has heard from Ichigo during this time, apart from occasional letters to his family to let them know he's ok. The Shinigami and Urahara have tried to detect his reiatsu several times, but have failed. But now, some news has finally reached Soul Society..._

_

* * *

  
_

"Abarai-kun, you're awake!"

Renji blinks at the bright lights as the world slowly swims back into focus. White ceiling… white sheets… weird medicinal taste in his throat. Oh. Fourth Division. _Not dead yet, then._

"Isane-san?"

The Division 4 fukutaichō smiles down at him. "How do you feel, Renji?"

The redhead coughs weakly. "Like I got kicked through a wall, then run through by a zanpakutou."

"Sounds about right…" Isane responds thoughtfully, then smiles shyly. "Still, we managed to patch you up again. You should be fine by tomorrow, but we'll keep you in overnight to be sure."

"Do you have to?"

The stern look she turns on him is enough to make him back down. Damn – she's getting good. She must've been taking lessons from Unohana-Taichō. That woman can even get _Zaraki_ to lie still and shut up…

"H… hai, Kotetsu-fukutaichō," he replies meekly. The tall woman smiles and heads for the door.

"Ahhh, Isane…" She pauses by the door, looking back.

"What about… the rest of the squad? Did everyone make it?"

Isane smiles softly, warmly. "They're fine, Renji. Get some rest."

Relieved, the tattooed redhead relaxes back against the cool white sheets. They're alright. He'd kept them safe. _This time…_ How many more? How many until finally an attack comes where he slips, where he's not strong enough? These new hollows of Aizen's are stronger every time._ Next time you won't be enough… you won't be able to keep them safe…_

He's about to fall back into fitful sleep when a small figure barges into the room, pushing aside the lower seated healer who'd been outside the door, and runs to his side.

Renji raises himself up to his elbow just in time to get a slap upside the head.

"_Ouch!_ Fuck, Rukia!"

"Baka!" The dark-haired woman scolds him fiercely. "I came as soon as Nii-sama told me! Why didn't you tell me there was another attack? Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?"

Flopping back down, Renji raises both hands in a loose defensive gesture. "Ahhh, Rukia, I've only been awake for about 5 minutes, y'know…"

"That's no excuse! Honestly, Renji, getting yourself hurt like this, do you always have to charge into every situation sword-first like some… some… big dumb ox? What am I supposed to do with you?"

He can't help smiling as she continues to rant about his irresponsible behaviour, all while those deep purple eyes run over him, checking for every injury, noting every bruise.

"Rukia." He reaches out and catches her hand as she stops for breath, and to his surprise she stops speaking and just looks at him. Her expression is more of a knife through his heart than any words she could say – so filled with concern, concern for _him_, that he marvels at it even while he regrets causing that expression to ever appear on her face.

"I'm sorry for making you worry."

She looks away. "Baka," she mutters, blushing so slightly anyone who didn't know her so well might never have noticed. "Who'd worry about you?"

He gives her his most winning grin, pulling her hand to his lips. "You."

She glances at him from the corner of her eyes, resisting the smile that quirks at her mouth, then eventually gives in and turns back to him with a smile.

"Which just proves I never learn, right?"

He smiles as she leans in to kiss him lightly, then settles onto the chair beside the bed, her hand still resting in his, leaning her head on her other arm on the side of the bed.

"This is the second time this week you've ended up in the Fourth, Renji."

He forces a light laugh. "Yeah, well, just as well I got a thick skull, right?"

The joke earns him a poke in the ribs. "I'm serious," Rukia snaps. "You're pushing yourself too hard."

Renji sighs. It was true - he'd been putting himself forward for a lot of extra duties. "I know." He reaches across to ruffle the silken hair, searching for words. This place was his - their - home. Everyone he cared about was here. _Those damned traitors want to tear it apart._ He was no brilliant tactician, he couldn't out-think Aizen. All he could do was fight, but it was better than sitting around helpless.

"I just… I have to do something." he curses himself silently for his inability to express himself properly. _Damned words._ "I hate sitting around waiting for an attack. Like you said, I'm just a big dumb ox who goes charging in sword first." Rukia blushes and begins to stammer, but he waves her off with a grin before his face becomes serious again. "I gotta... I gotta fight if I can. This place is our home, right? I'm gonna do what I can to protect it."

_To protect you._

"I suppose," Rukia murmurs. "I just… I wonder how much longer we can keep doing this. Aizen sits like in a king in Hueco Mundo, just sending monsters against us. It's getting harder every time, and there's never enough time to recover between battles anymore. If this keeps up…"

Her fist clenches on the sleeve of his uniform, as she presses her forehead against his unbandaged arm.

His fingers stroke her dark hair again. "You're thinking too much again," he reprimands softly. "None of us know what Aizen's planning, but you know the captains won't let Sereitei fall apart without fighting for it. We just gotta do our bit, that's all. So stop worrying, yeah?"

Her voice is muffled as she speaks into his sleeve.

"I just… I wish Ichigo were here."

A year ago, that would have sent a stab of pain and jealousy through him so strong he thought he'd break. But now, he simply lifts his hand to stroke through her dark hair again.

"I know. Me, too," he murmurs.

They sit like that for a while, her head resting against his arm, him caressing her hair, until a movement at the door catches his attention.

"Ahhhh, fuck. Can't they even leave me alone one evening?" Renji groans as the jigokuchou flutters to land on his outstretched finger.

"What is it?" Rukia asks at the puzzled look that appears on his face from listening to the message carried by the black insect.

"Gotta report to the Captain-Commander in the morning. New orders. Weird – since when has Yamamoto given me orders?"

Rukia shrugs, eyes wide. "I don't know. It does sound strange, though. Oh, wait – another one. Maybe this will explain?"

They watch the black butterfly as it enters the room. Renji extends a finger, but the insect ignores it and flutters toward Rukia, who looks startled as she holds out her own hand to receive it.

"Kuchiki Rukia, report to Division 1 at 9am for new orders. This is important." Chojiro-fukutaicho's smooth voice echoes in her head.

She looks up, startled, at Renji.

"What?" he asks with a grin. "Kuchiki-taichō ordering you home instead'a sitting around with his layabout lieutenant?"

"No…" she shakes her head. "I have to report to the Captain-Commander too."

The two of them eye each other with bewilderment.

"Must be something important. Some kinda new mission or somethin'." Renji breaks the silence first.

"I suppose so… but I haven't heard of anything."

"S'why it's new, dumbass," the redhead smirks at her, earning him another poke in the ribs.

"Idiot. I suppose they're keeping you in here tonight again?" She eyes the bandages around his chest and right arm.

"Yeah 'fraid so. Unless you wanna stay and take care of me…" he winks at her suggestively.

"Hardly," she returns keeping her face perfectly straight. Seeing his expression fall she leans in to kiss him fiercely.

"Get some rest. I'll see you in the morning."

She heads for the door, leaving him staring after her still open-mouthed.

* * *

To his surprise, Renji is at the First Division before Rukia in the morning. He smirks to himself, remembering all the times she's slapped him awake for being lazy in the mornings. _Damn, I ain't lettin' her forget about this, her being the lazy one for a change_!

However, this isn't the time – he needs to be professional in front of the Captain Commander.

So when she arrives, panting slightly, he just gives her a mischievous wink before offering a formal greeting and leading the way into the small office. He knows she understands the wink by the small scowl she shoots him before straightening her face into a perfect Kuchiki mask.

They both drop into deep bows before the figure seated throne-like before them.

"Yamamoto- sōtaichō. You asked to see us?" Renji asks, straightening.

The old man surveys them solemnly through his narrowed eyes, gnarled hands resting on his thick staff.

"Hai. Abarai-fukutaicho. Kuchiki-san. Something has happened, and I am sending the two of you to investigate."

Yamamoto leans forward, fixing each of them with his steel gaze. "Last night, in the human world, our instruments detected two powerful reiatsu surges in a town near Karakura. The first sputtered and died almost immediately, but the second persists and seems to be growing stronger."

"The analysis indicates that the first reiatsu belonged to Kurosaki Ichigo."

_Ichigo...._ Renji stiffens in shock, and hears Rukia's strangled gasp beside him. He longs to reach and take her hand, but it wouldn't be appropriate. Still, he can feel her slight trembling as the Captain Commander continues.

"The second reiatsu is like nothing we have ever detected before. It isn't hollow, Espada, shinigami or human. We fear it is another of Aizen's new monsters."

Yamamoto stands, stepping forward to peer at their faces, leaning heavily on his staff. "Abarai, Kuchiki, you both spent time in the human world. You are both familiar with Kurosaki. You will go to the location we give, and investigate the happenings there. If this new reiatsu _is _a monster, you will destroy it."

Rukia speaks up bravely, though her voice wavers slightly. "Genryuusai- sōtaichō … what about Ichigo? Is he…?"

"Kurosaki's fate remains undetermined. We have been unable to detect his reiatsu previously, so it's fading remains of little consequence," the old man shrugs, but strokes the leather-bound beard that hangs down his chest thoughtfully. "However, the reason I am sending the two of you is because you stand the most chance of contacting him."

The Captain Commander meets Renji's eyes directly and the redhead feels his spine straighten under that hard glare.

"If you can contact him, you will bring him back, by any means necessary. He is powerful. A great battle is coming, and we need all the power we can get."

Yamamoto turns away, moving back toward his seat, lowering himself onto it with the sigh of an old man whose bones ache and who has too much responsibility to bear.

"You have my permission to contact any of the ryoka – Kurosaki's friends – from the human world to aid you in this mission. You will report directly to me, or to Kuchiki-Taicho. Do not fail."

Renji bows low. "Hai, Genryuusai-sōtaichō_"_

He hears Rukia echoing his words beside him.

* * *

n.b. - Baka = idiot _(to my misfortune, it's the most obvious translation of my own surname - remind me never to move to Japan, I'd never live it down)_

Jigokuchou = hell butterfly

_I tend not to drop too many japanese words in, mostly cuz I've only been learning for a few months and I can still just about manage to say I'm english and I got here by taxi, but if I do use anything you don't know without giving a translation just send me a virtual slap and I'll sort it out :)_


	3. 2 Old Haunts

_Wow, I actually got reviews! That makes me seriously happy, because I'm never quite sure whether I'm hitting the right notes with my writing. Plus it proves that people are reading this, and that makes me even happier! Thanks so much and please carry on letting me know what you think, good or bad.  
_

_I apologise for the slow update – I try for once a week, but I'm now deep into writing up my thesis (I'm a biology PhD student) and my brain is filled with science, so I haven't been able to write anything without going into a thorough analysis and discussion of all the ways in which I'm wrong. Which didn't really seem appropriate for this…  
_

_This chapter and the next are more 'scene-setter' type chapters – for those of you waiting for a major development in story, stuff will start to happen more in chapter 4. I've always been more a character piece writer than a plot writer, so this is a change of pace for me :)  
_

_ Also you have been warned, there is a sappy romance flashback in the middle of this chapter, which I apologise for but the story took on a mind of it's own and it seemed too appropriate for the characters for me to delete it. I blame it on the thesis stress, my mind was clearly trying to escape to a land of fluffy bunnies and white clouds. or should that be the other way around?_

_Anyway, __sorry and try not to choke on the fluff. _

_

* * *

  
_

It feels funny to be walking through Karakura again. So many familiar streets, familiar people, familiar places.

_It seems funny because he's not here._

Rukia feels a shiver go through her. It was true. She'd come here sometimes since Ichigo's disappearance – to see Orihime and the others – but she'd always found it strange, empty somehow, without the presence of the bright-haired teenager who had gotten under her skin so very quickly.

_I'm a Kuchiki. I'm not supposed to get attached_, she reminds herself for the thousandth time.

It really hadn't worked with Ichigo. He was obnoxious, argumentative, always a scowl on his face and hands in his pockets. _Such a teenager._ But he cared – really cared – about people. He'd do anything to protect the people he cared for. And she, used by now to the cold echoing halls of the Kuchiki mansion and the even colder voice of her adopted older brother, had found a warmth in that that she'd forgotten.

He was the first person in a long time who'd accepted her, just for who she was, without her family or her roots getting in the way. He and his friends had made her belong. And whether she liked it or not, she'd found that she did care about him.

_Just care about him?_

She shakes that thought out of her head with a grimace. It was true in some ways – she'd never been quite sure of the extent of her feelings toward the teenager, as if there had always been some potential for something more. But she had dismissed it, since he was human, and young, and had a life to live. And then he had disappeared, and the war had got worse, the battles harder. She had lost friends, everyone had. But Renji had always been there, and the friendship she'd thought they'd lost had come back with a vengeance as they relied on each other more and more for comfort and support in the difficult times.

But it had been different from before – he wasn't the gangly unproven kid, and she wasn't the midget street rat. They were adults, and she couldn't help but notice how powerful he was now, how his muscles had filled out, how he moved with real confidence and a sure smile. That had been followed by the realisation of how strong he was when he held her, how she liked the smell of his skin, the tickle of his long hair against her cheek.

But again, she had ignored it. After all, they'd been friends forever. And then he'd nearly been killed in an espada attack, and she'd realised that she wasn't just afraid of losing her best friend. Her feelings ran deeper. And still she'd kept quiet, afraid of his rejection, afraid that he just saw her as his annoying kid sister. Until he'd finally, haltingly, told her he wanted to be more than friends.

She smiles at the memory, the blush on his face, his eyes looking everywhere but at her, his obvious frustration as he tried to find the words to tell her what he felt.

_*flashback*_

"Rukia, I… you know I'm not that great with words and all that, but there's… there's something I gotta tell you… so… y'know, bear with me, ok?"

She'd looked at him, surprised. It wasn't like Renji to be so serious. When he'd asked her to meet him here in the park she'd assumed it was just the usual, a walk and some food and a couple of drinks, a way to ease the tension before a battle, two friends helping each other relax.

"What is it?" She'd asked him softly, unable to stop the slight touch of fear in her heart. Was it something bad? Was something wrong? Was he being posted away – or sent somewhere dangerous?

He won't look at her, staring away over the lake they're sat in front of, staring at his own fingers, twisting in front of him, or staring at the ground – anywhere but at her.

"I…" he begins, then stops, shaking his head in obvious frustration. "I… look, there's been a lot of rough stuff happening lately. The war and everything. And… that's been bad, but… you and me, we've gotten to be friends again. And that… that's great. I mean, really great."

She smiles at him. "I always knew you were soft."

He chuckles, but it sounds forced, and he still won't meet her eyes. "But… there's kinda… something else." She frowns, and he takes a deep breath, as if to steel himself. "I know you and Ichigo were… y'know, close. I dunno how close. So, I always kept my mouth shut, even after we started being friends again, cuz I didn't wanna put my foot in it or get in the way or anything…"

"Renji, what are you saying?" Rukia can feel her heart speed up, butterflies in her stomach. Why was Renji talking about getting in the way of her and Ichigo?

"I…" He sighs in frustration, scratching at the back of his neck as he does when he's annoyed. "Look, what I'm trying to say is, well, I like you. More than… as a friend. But I don't know how you feel and if you don't feel the same way then it doesn't matter and we'll never mention it again and…"

"Renji." She interrupts him, reaching for her hand as he continues to talk nervously. And for the first time he actually stops and looks up at her, and she sees his blush, sees the nervousness in his eyes, and the affection shining beneath the fear.

"So, y'know… how about it? You and me, I mean?" he asks, pretending to be lighthearted even though she can feel the tension in his grip that tells her he's terrified of what she'll say next.

"I think I'd like that," she smiles at him, and sees first plain confusion and then amazement dawn in those red-brown eyes.

"You really mean it?" he asks, wonderingly.

"Yes, idiot!" She pokes him in the ribs for good measure, but he just grabs her wrist and then pulls her into a tight hug, pressing her small body against his.

"Fuck, Rukia…" he mumbles, face buried in her shoulder. "You don't know how long I've wanted to tell you… how fucking nervous I was that you'd laugh in my face…"

She runs her fingers through the scarlet ponytail. "Dumbass. You should have told me earlier. It would have saved us both a lot of worrying."

He releases her then, sitting back, staring at her. "You mean you… you liked me before?"

It's her turn to blush and look away. "Don't be daft. Why would I like you?"

"Rukia." He reaches, his fingers lightly touching her cheek just enough to turn her face back to him. And her heart-rate suddenly speeds up until she's sure it'll break from her chest, because he's so close, so close she can almost smell the scent of his skin.

Renji smiles at her, and it's almost shy, and she marvels at it. That _she_ could make him shy. And then he leans towards her, and she's sure she's having a heart attack, and she can't breathe, and this is Renji…

And then his lips brush over hers, softly, hesitantly. Giving her ample chance to pull back and say 'no' before returning and settling, pressing more firmly. And… it doesn't matter that it's Renji. Except actually it does, because Renji is the only one she wants to be kissing her like this, and she can't believe they've never done it before, it just feels so… natural. Right.

He pulls back, slowly, reaching to brush her hair out of her eyes, looking at her with so much warmth. Her mind is still spinning. _Is this real? Did that just really happen?_

"I still can't quite believe it," he confesses, stroking her cheek lightly.

She doesn't quite know how to respond to him touching her, to him being so close. She wants to kiss him again but… she also wants to be able to talk to him, like a normal person. So, flustered, she does the only thing she can think of, and pinches him. Hard. He jerks back, a shocked look on his face.

"Well, you're not dreaming," she quips, and his look turns slowly from shock into a goofy grin.

"Guess not." He grins at her, rubbing her arm. "Though next time, think ya can find a less violent way to prove it?"

"You wish," she retorts, and it suddenly feels… normal again.

_*end flashback*_

She's happy, she decides. She does miss Ichigo, of course she does. But nothing could ever have been between them anyway. He was human. She was… well, dead. Some things were too forbidden.

Besides, there was Orihime to think about. The girl had been through such terrible things – abused by her parents, she'd been taken away by her elder brother Sora, two kids just trying to get along on their own. And then Sora had died in an accident, and she'd been left on her own, just a teenager, barely 14 years old, already having to survive on her own. And the girl was still so sweet, so generous and optimistic. Rukia had grown up with a crowd of rowdy boys, Renji's little gang, but she'd never really had close female friends before. Orihime had made her feel welcome, and the two of them had become close.

After Ichigo had vanished, Rukia had stayed with the auburn-haired girl while they searched for him, the two of them staying up late eating Orihime's unusual cooking and talking about… girl stuff. Setting the world to rights with the aid of ice-cream and red bean paste. With another girl, Rukia had found herself able to open up like never before, and Orihime had done the same.

Orihime loved Ichigo. Rukia had suspected it before, but every night as they talked, it became clearer and clearer. The way her gentle grey eyes would light up as she told stories about him, the shy way she blushed when Rukia mentioned him. Rukia never knew why the girl kept it such a secret. She was beautiful, clever, gentle and generous – any guy would want her. In fact, when she'd told Renji about it, he'd slapped a hand against his forehead in despair. 'That fucking idiot,' he'd groaned, speaking about Ichigo. 'How can he not notice a girl like that? Is he fucking blind as well as stupid?'

She grinned at the memory. As she recalled, she'd promptly hit him round the head for noticing another girl.

The loss of Ichigo had changed the girl. In some ways it had brought out her strength Orihime – Rukia had never seen her more determined than when they'd searched for Ichigo, and in the weeks afterward she'd begged all of the others to train her as much as possible.

'So that if he needs me, I can do more than just stand there stupidly,' the girl had explained. It was as if she really believed she was useless, just because her powers were of healing and defence, not attack like the rest of them. It was crazy, because her shun-shun rikka had saved them more times than any sword ever could.

Rukia longed to make her friend understand that she wasn't useless. Her strength was different from any of the rest of them – she seemed so vulnerable on the surface, so gentle, yet she took every terrible thing the world threw at her and smiled. She walked into Soul Society to try and rescue a girl she barely knew, even thinking she was weak, even thinking she would lose. She would do anything to protect her friends, and she had the kindness of heart to heal even their enemies rather than see them bleed.

It was the kind of strength Rukia sometimes wished she had, rather than a cold sword and blood on her hands.

However, the other changes hadn't been so good. Orihime had withdrawn more since Ichigo's disappearance, become more shy again, less confident. Renji had nicknamed her 'princess' from her name, and this last year that was exactly how she'd seemed – like a princess locked in a tower, there but somehow… distant.

_Waiting for her prince to come back and rescue her?_

And now, Rukia was on her way to tell her the news. That they'd detected Ichigo. That they were going looking. And that it was the princess's chance to go and rescue her prince.

* * *

n.b. 'hime' in Japanese means princess, hence Princess Orihime!

Thanks for reading :)

Wow, after all that scientific writing, this has been so nice to write!


	4. 3 Something I Can Never Have

_Whee, two chapters in a week. This is itching at my fingers. Short and sweet this time, from Orihime's POV after Rukia tells her the news. I'm having to stop myself getting distracted by another couple of stories I've been working on, but don't worry, I won't let this fall by the wayside_

_Have to admit Orihime seemed such a typical anime airhead girl and annoyed the hell out of me at first, but she's really grown on me. She's a much more complex character than she first seemed, and so far I think she's the best female character in the show (though I have a soft spot for Matsumoto lol). I also find her much more interesting to write than Rukia, who probably has more layers to her than I see but who always strikes me as being too withdrawn for me to really get involved with the character._

_Last scene-setter - next chapter, the gang head out!_

_As ever, reviews make me happy! Actually I've become a bit of an addict :) The more reviews, the sooner I update (ha haaaaa, bribery!)_

* * *

The auburn-haired girl sinks down onto the floor, pink phone clutched tight in her pale hand.

Ichigo.

_Kurosaki-kun…_

Clenching her fists, she fights to hold back tears that threaten to spill from her grey eyes. She would not cry. She wouldn't be weak. Not again.

It was just the shock. _Yes, that was it._ All this time, all these months with no scowling orange-headed boy in class, no raging reiatsu battering at her senses, no talking, no _word_…

He had protected her.

At first, he had just been the rather scary boy in her class who was always frowning. She had tried not to get in the way of that too-intense gaze, afraid of the blush that would spill across her cheeks. But then she had caught herself staring at him, wondering about him. His orange hair was so much brighter than hers. She wondered if he got teased about it like she did. She wondered if that was why he was always scowling. She wondered who kept the bullies away from him, like Tatsuki kept them away from her.

Then she saw him fight, and realised he didn't need anyone to keep the bullies away. He was strong. And she'd noticed him even more, that 'I don't care' attitude that melted away when he thought no-one was looking, the way he leaned against a wall looking bored while Kiego bounced around beside him, the rare smiles that only came on those very special occasions when someone said something both amazingly clever and amazingly witty.

She wanted to make him smile. But she never could – she was just…

… _silly._

He never noticed her. Of course not, why would he? She was just Tatsuki's friend, no-one to him. She practiced in her head, clever things she could say, things that would cause that scowl to lighten – just for a heartbeat, maybe just enough to quirk the edge of his lips into a smile. She'd watched him from afar, knowing that it made no difference, because he would never see her, never touch her.

And then… everything had gone… strange. Weird things had started to happen, accidents, a sense of a presence around her. That had all culminated in her staring at her body, attached to her by an ethereal chain hanging from her ghostly figure, while that ugly, evil, white-bone-masked monster attacked Tatsuki.

Her best friend! And she had just… sat there! And when she had tried to help, she'd been completely ineffectual… the thing had just thrown her away, like she was nothing…

Until it had spoken to her in Sora's voice.

And then it had turned to kill her best friend.

And then he was _there_. It couldn't have been anyone else, not with that bright orange hair, even in those unfamiliar black robes, carrying that huge sword that looked like she'd never be able to lift it.

And he'd looked _right at her_ for a moment, then said if the monster wanted to kill her, it had to kill him first.

He had saved Tatsuki. And he had saved her… and he had brought Sora back. Made him himself again before it had ended. He'd given her… the chance to say goodbye to her brother. Even though it had been her fault, not telling Sora how much she missed him every day, talking about her new life, talking about her friends.

Talking about Ichigo.

_He'd let her say goodbye to her brother._

_Why hadn't he let her say goodbye to him?_

Orihime drew herself up and fluffed the pillows, padded into the kitchen to make tea, busying herself for the guests that would soon arrive.

Sado-kun and Ishida-kun.

Ichigo had brought out powers she and Sado never knew that had. Because of him, they'd been given strength. Well… Sado had been. She… She had been useless. Rukia had been her friend, and she had wanted to save her! But she wasn't strong, like the others. They had defeated so many shinigami, even held their own against the elite. She had been pushed out of the way after her first pathetic attack. Shouted at by her own powers. Grabbed and thrown over someone's shoulder like a sack of potatoes as Ishida gave up everything he cared about just to win, to survive!

_Weak. Useless. Pathetic._

No wonder Ichigo had left without saying anything to her.

She remembers the way he would look, so much determination in his eyes sometimes that she wonders how his enemies didn't just flee in fear. Ichigo had so much more strength in him than she could ever hope to. Than _anyone_ could ever hope to. But so much kindness, too… she remembers him helping her, his touch so gentle as he examined the cut on her arm, asked her if she was ok. So much warmth atop the usual steel of his gaze. She had blushed, turned away, stammered, unable to think above the pounding of her heart.

_I'm sorry I couldn't help you, Kurosaki-kun. I'm sorry you had to look after me._

She wasn't going to let it be like that again. She had been training, fighting, bugging the others – even that strange _getaboushi_ guy – to help her get stronger.

She would help, this time. She wouldn't be a burden. She would be strong. She would fight.

She would find Ichigo, and make him smile.

A knock at the door wakes her from her thoughts.

It's time. Orihime draws herself up, unclenches her firsts, and reaches inside herself for the happy smile she always wears. It would take someone who knew her very well to see the determination behind that gentle grey gaze.

Drawing back the chain, she opens the door, already sensing the quietly controlled reiatsu on the other side.

"Inoue-san."

"Ishida-kun! How lovely! Come in, come in!"

She knows already that Ishida and Sado will go with her. They feel the same as her. They need to fill that gaping hole he left in their lives.

It didn't matter that she would never be good enough for him. She just had to be there. She just had to see him again.

_We're coming, Kurosaki-kun._

_

* * *

n.b. getaboushi – sandal-hat (geta are those strange sandals Urahara wears)_

_Hope y'all enjoyed :) Let me know what you think!_


	5. 4 Big Empty

_Very, very late update this time. Writers block, then the thesis kind of blew up in my face, but I've finally written it (writing is therapeutic lol). I tried writing this chapter about 4 times lol but just couldn't seem to get past the first paragraph!_

_Thanks as ever for all the reviews – it really keeps me motivated to keep going whenever I feel like banging my head against the keyboard :)  
_

_So here's the next chapter – finally our heroes have left Karakura in search of mysterious reiatsu – oh and Ichigo, of course. 'Scuse the angsty bits, seems to what I'm best at at the moment._

* * *

Renji paused at the edge of the tiles, surveying the rooftops with narrowed eyes. One hand rests on Zabimaru's hilt, ready for a challenge; though none is forthcoming. _Shame._ Shifting his weight, he begins to move again, sounding out the area, familiarising himself with this new territory.

_Always know the lay of the land_, Ikkaku had told him long ago. Even the best fighter can use an advantage. So he did, every time he was posted in a new town, searching the roofs and grounds until he felt confident he'd discovered everything there was to know. Until he knew where was heavily populated, where was clear and safe to fight, where he could hide, lose or confuse an opponent if he needed to catch his breath or change the rules of the fight.

Actually, pretty much all of them had split up and left to walk around the town when they'd arrived this morning. The atmosphere on the train had been heavy – too heavy. He didn't even like the train anyway, annoyed with having to fold his legs into the cramped space and sit still for the half hour it had taken to reach this place. He wishes they hadn't had to bring the gigai. But this morning there had just been too many expectations, too many worries, for _anyone_ to feel comfortable, even with all the legroom in the world. Rukia had been quiet and tense for days, since they'd found out about this. Chad was always quiet, and Ishida… well, who knew anything about that weird kid. Even Orihime's normal chatter had been too bright, too brittle, setting his teeth on edge.

He supposed he was probably just as bad. After all, he had his own concerns, and though he tried to keep busy – _keep moving, keep fighting_ – there were times when he couldn't help but stop and think. He and Rukia had barely spoken about it, not really – just quick sentences about finding the boy, about how they hoped he'd talk to them, come back. But…

How did she feel?

He'd known Rukia longer than anyone, yet she was still an enigma to him. Oh sure, he could read the slight looks and tension of her frame, he could tell when something was bothering her no matter how cheerful she acted. And something sure as hell was bothering her now. What he couldn't tell was what. Just that it had started with Ichigo's name.

Maybe it was the stray dog in him, always afraid of being kicked back out on the street where he belonged. But he still couldn't quite believe how fucking lucky he was, that the petite girl he'd loved since… forever, really, had finally accepted him. But only after the kid had left. There'd always been something between her and the bright-haired kid. Ichigo had broken into fucking Soul Society, fought his way through Ikkaku and Renji and Zaraki and _Byakuya_, for fucks sake, all to get her back. And Rukia, he'd been so afraid that he'd lost her for good.

And if she had picked Ichigo, he'd have let her go, without a fight. Because the kid was better. Much as Renji hated it, resented the kid, because it had all just come to him as if he was fucking handed it. In just months he'd gone from just an ordinary human to someone who could make any shinigami fear. In _weeks_ he'd become someone who could do the one thing Renji had wanted, torn his fingers to the bone trying for – he'd defeated Kuchiki Byakuya.

It was so. _Fucking_. Unfair.

But the kid was the best, so Renji would have let her go, though it would have broken his heart. Because Renji was always second best, never strong enough no matter how he tried. And he wondered if that was why Rukia had been so quiet and withdrawn – because she knew that too.

White knuckled, he grips the sword hilt, staring unseeing at the treetops.

_I can't lose her. I won't. I won't. I won't…._

A sound behind him makes him whirl, sword already half out of its scabbard and held ready and he drops into a crouch, weight balanced to attack or defend.

_Oh_.

A squirrel bolts over the rooftop, claws skittering on the tile.

_Do you really intend to use me as rodent deterrent?_ The voice of Zabimaru holds a note of amusement.

_Accident._ He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly as he sheaths the blade. _Guess I'm a little wound up._

_Ha! Assss if you need to tell ussss. I'm getting tired of the sssstorm._

_Ahhh…_ It wouldn't be the first time that the chimarea had chimed in to defuse his own thoughts. Renji, left to himself, had a tendency to turn his mind in on itself, winding himself up into smaller and smaller circles as he dwells on his own failures, his own worries.

_It is rather unpleasant in here. However, I understand. You wish to be ready, after the information provided by Kuckhiki, yes?_

_Not like it was information, as such_, Renji replies grumpily. _Why can't Kuchiki ever just say something straight out? _Other than 'stop that' and 'get on with your paperwork' of course.

_You ssshould have threatened it out of him._ The snake, always angry, always looking to fight. The thought of 'threatening' Byakuya makes Renji's lips curve into a wry smile.

The baboon's voice, as usual, is that of wisdom. _Perhaps he was not sure about the information he was providing._

_Perhaps. Still doesn't give me a lot to go on, though._

_Then we shall have to see what happens. Just be alert,_ the baboon sooths.

Like you have to tell me.

Renji scowls, and turns back toward the town, resuming his journey from rooftop to rooftop back toward the middle of the small town. He stretches out his senses, looking for….

Rukia… Ishida…. Orihime… Chad…

No hollows…

In fact, not even the lingering sign of a hollow hidden, or turning… nor of a plus spirit… the town is cleaner than anywhere he's been, anywhere has a right to be.

_What the fuck?_

Veering off to his right, he begins to make his way toward Rukia. He wants to know if she feels it to, before he checks the records.

Stupid kid, running off like that. Leaving his friends. All of 'em, they'd all banded together because of him. Didn't the brat know you couldn't do anything without your friends? Everyone needed someone to lean on, some of the time at least. Rukia had been damned upset when he'd run off – even cried.

He was gonna punch the kid when he found him, just for that.

But running – he hadn't known Ichigo all that well, unless you counted one fight to the death and that itchy time sitting outside Rukia's bedroom squabbling while they waited for her to recover, and Renji tried to get his head around the shocking, astounding things that had happened. Like Aizen… and the fact he'd fought Byakuya, and the man not only hadn't killed him, but also hadn't sacked him…

But from what he did know of the teenager, he would never back down from a fight. And know him or not, Renji trusted that in him – recognised someone like himself, maybe, someone driven to be stronger to protect the ones they cared for.

For the kid to have left… left his friends, left his family, who so obviously meant the fucking world to him… why would he run away from them? Why wouldn't he be beside them to protect them?

Byakuya's words ring again around his head, and the redhead shivers slightly.

_What the hell could have been that bad?_

_***********************************_

That evening, the five of them crowd around a table of the restaurant next door to the small guesthouse they're staying at. The day of exploring seems to have done them all good – he notes that Ishida's blue eyes are dark with determination, that Chad's stance indicates he is ready for a fight but isn't overly tense, that Orihime's chatter about a new ice cream flavour unavailable in Karakura sounds less forced than earlier. Renji feels better himself, less tense, less withdrawn. They're falling back into old habits already, Ichigo's friends – preparing for battle, ready for danger, but refusing to be afraid.

Even Rukia seems a little more relaxed, smiling at him for the first time in days as he nudges her shoulder in silent encouragement before she opens her mouth.

"So did anyone see or feel any signs of this strange reiatsu, or of Ichigo?"

There's a moments silence as everyone prepares their answers.

"I didn't sense anything." Chad, quiet and stolid as ever.

"I couldn't sense Kurosaki-kun. I did think, though…" Orihime trails off, unsure of herself.

"What is it, Orihime?" Rukia asks, giving her friend a warm smile.

"I just thought… there was something a bit funny… like there was some energy missing… I don't really know! I'm sure it's nothing, I mean I'm used to Karakura and everyone there has so much energy and I'm probably just over-reacting…"

"I noticed it too." Ishida's cool voice interrupts the girl's nervous chatter. "There is no residue of hollows, or of other spirits. It is as if they simply are not present in this town."

Renji exchanges a look with Rukia. So the others had noticed it too – that meant it wasn't just them.

"S'right. Seems like the town is too clean, ya know?" Renji offers, and gets nods from the others.

Rukia leans forward, her lips pursed in determination. "Renji and I talked about it earlier, so I contacted Soul Society to check the records." To his surprise, she glances at him, almost as if seeking approval, before continuing. He slips an arm loosely around her small shoulders as she pulls out her communicator.

"According to the records from Division 12's hollow monitoring, there have been no hollow attacks in this town in over a year." She hesitates, looking up at the others. "Almost 14 months. The same length of time… that Ichigo's been gone."

Eyes widen around the table, and Orihime claps a hand over her own mouth.

"The Shinigami assigned here covers two other towns, too," Renji picks up. "Went an' chased him down. He says Hollow activity is picked up now an' again, but then gets snuffed out, like a… a candle, or somethin'…" Renji waves a hand to illustrate. "Says he never has to come anywhere near here."

"So you think it could be Kurosaki?" Ishida asks sharply.

Orihime finally removes the hand over her mouth. "So he's here? Kurosaki-kun… he's killing the hollows?!"

* * *

_Ahhh, feel the building tension :)  
_

_Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think!_


	6. 5 All We're Missing is Ice Cream

_Alright, so the weekly update schedule is totally and utterly out of the window. I struggled a bit with this, dialogue isn't my forte, so I hope it reads ok. I've already started writing the next chapter, so hopefully there won't be so much of a wait this time._

_I also got a bit distracted by finally getting around to reading Naruto, which seems to have eaten my spare time, and half my imagination. Damned plot bunnies.  
_

_Many many thanks to all of you reviewers, I live for your reviews:) Hope you like it and as always let me know what you think, constructive criticism welcomed!_

* * *

The dark-haired girl draws her legs up onto the bed, listening to the faint but cheerful humming from the bathroom and glancing around the little twin room. It seemed like a long time since she'd shared a room. It was cheaper for all of them to share – Orihime had offered (blushing) to let Rukia share with Renji, but since Ishida had insisted on his own room, that had just been too strange. So the two girls shared, while Renji shared with Chad. Rukia couldn't help but be amused by the concept of her chatty and boisterous boyfriend trying to get any form of response out of the silent Mexican. On the other hand, Renji could probably talk enough to keep both sides of the conversation going, assuming he didn't decide he was being ignored and get angry.

Rolling her eyes, she leans back against the headboard. Luckily it wouldn't be a problem tonight. They'd decided to run patrols each night, to look out for this 'strange reiatsu' – and of course, Ichigo.

"_Well if one of us is going to go, it should be me. I mean, I'm the boss of this little expedition, right?" Renji had leaned forward over the table eagerly. He hated waiting - preferred to be doing things. He'd always been that way, ever since they were young._

"_You may be the leader of the Shinigami, but in this case that applies only to Rukia." Ishida had pointed out calmly._

_The two girls exchanged glances behind the big red-head's back._

"_Yeah, well, I'm the fukutaicho here! And I've got the most reiatsu, so if either this __**thing**__ or Ichigo are gonna notice, they'll notice me!"_

"_It's more likely they'll notice you for the noise," Ishida had grimaced, pushing his glasses up his nose. Honestly, it was too easy to rile the shinigami. Almost as easy as annoying Kurosaki himself._

However, Renji had got his way (after threatening to make Ishida share rooms with Chad) and so had already slipped out to patrol. He had knocked at their door before he left, hanging in the doorway rather sheepishly as if afraid to step into female territory. Orihime had politely turned away and busied herself, but even so when he bent to kiss her Rukia had turned her head slightly so that he kissed her cheek, rather than her lips. He'd looked momentarily disappointed and she'd cursed herself quietly as he'd slipped away.

It wasn't that she didn't care. She just didn't feel comfortable around all these people. It had only been a few months… even in Soul Society a lot of people didn't know. Of course, all Renji's usual friends did… and her Nii-sama, who had taken the news rather frostily. But Rukia herself had been trained for so many years in hiding herself, in putting on a mask of formality and 'acting as a Kuchiki should' that she felt awkward about anything in public beyond a brush of the hand or occasionally, Renji's arm around her shoulders – things that they used sometimes to do even as friends.

One thing at a time. She was a little nervous about sharing a room – which was strange, really, given that she'd grown up in the slums of Rukongai, just one more body squeezed into a space too small, surrounded by warmth and snoring and coughs and occasionally less salubrious noises from all the kids around her. It had actually been tough to learn to sleep alone when they began at the Academy, just her in the little room, in a real bed. She'd slept on the floor the first few nights, focusing on the slightest noises echoing from people moving through the corridors, from the soft laughter coming from a room a couple of doors away, any noise to remind her she wasn't alone. But after almost 40 years of having her own room – hells, her own suite in the Kuchiki mansion – she had got used to her own space. Even her little room at the 13th barracks, which she used to escape to when she couldn't bear the scraping of the servants and her adopted brothers endless chill, was her own space, complete with Chappy the bunny bedspread. Actually, she'd been escaping there more and more recently – or at least saying she was, when most of the time she ended up in Renji's untidy fukutaicho's quarters, since his 6ft2 frame left little room in her small bed even before he sprawled out in his sleep. And he did always complain about having to sleep under Chappy…

The bathroom door clicks open and Orihime steps out, already dressed in her pyjamas with her hair in a loose braid, a rubber duck in her hands.

"The bathroom's all yours, Kuchiki-san!"

Rukia smiles as she slips into the bathroom, pulling on her own pyjamas (actually her own – Orihime had insisted on taking her shopping when they prepared for the trip, since the larger girl's clothing drowned her and she couldn't really go and ask Ichigo's sisters to borrow something). The buttons feel strange under her hands; she remembered wondering how such things could be comfortable to sleep in, and whether they'd stick in her. She smiles at the memory, imagining the look on her brother's face if she took them back to Soul Society.

Gathering her courage, Rukia steps out of the bathroom. Orihime is already sat in bed, writing something. Rukia slips to put her clothes away before straightening up, setting her Soul Society communicator and _gikongan_ on the night-stand, and slipping between the crisp sheets.

Orihime smiles at her, resting her pencil against her chin. "Are you ok, Kuchiki-san? You look like you're nervous."

"Of course I'm not nervous." Rukia quickly schools any traces of apprehension off her face. "It'd be silly to be nervous!"

Orihime smiles again, putting her book and pencil down. Rukia can't help but admire her figure, and her long hair… she looks like a man's dream, and she crosses her arms over her own flat chest to hide herself.

"I'm nervous. Is that silly?" Orihime's voice startles her out of her self-consciousness, and Rukia curses herself inwardly. She'd thought…

"I'm just…. I mean, it's silly to worry about Kurosaki-kun. Of course he'll be fine. He was always really strong! But…" The large grey eyes turn away, staring at the fingers twisting themselves in her lap. "I'm just… I wish I could do more to help."

Rukia's heart goes out to the other girl. "Orihime… You always help. Just by being here, you help. I don't know why you don't believe in yourself more!"

"Hai!" For a second, Orihime's smile brightens. Though she's said the same thing to Rukia herself, many times. It was funny how both girls seemed to see so many of the other's strengths, yet none of their own. Orihime had been the one who smiled at her and encouraged her when she'd first confessed her feelings about Renji, the one who'd told her to not be so silly when she'd wondered if she was strong enough to become a seated officer, the one who'd sat with her and explained all the strange things in the movies while making her popcorn…

"I just… do you think…. he'll come home?"

Rukia's heart becomes heavy again. _Ichigo… where are you? Why did you leave?_

"I don't know." Her reply is quiet. "I don't know why he left. But all we can do is… just remind him that people miss him, and are waiting for him."

Seeing the girl's eyes droop and her mouth open, Rukia cuts her off sternly. "And don't go telling me that it won't matter if you're here. Ichigo trusts you, Orihime! He brought you to Soul Society. He knew you were strong. You're his friend! And his friends mean a lot to him!"

A soft smile curves Orihime's lips. "Hai."

"Besides, if he doesn't come home, we're all going to kick the crap out of him." Rukia adds with a smile as she reaches for the light switch.

She hears Orihime's noise of assent as the two girls settle down in the darkness.

Trying to relax, she concentrates on her own breathing. In and out, in and out…. From habit, she searches for Renji's reiatsu, finding it reassuringly quiet and only a few minutes away.

"Kuchiki-san?" Orihime's voice is soft, already sleepy.

"Eeh?"

"I'm glad… that I'm sharing with you."

Rukia smiles in the darkness, feeling warmth wrap around her.

"Me too, Orihime-chan."

********************************************************************************

Rukia awakes, a strange feeling coiling in her gut, forehead creased as she tries to work out what just woke her.

_A strange feeling… strong… not a hollow… not a shinigami…_

And then, a flaring of very, very familiar reiatsu.

Desperately in the dark she grabs for the lightswitch with one hand, her _gikongan_ with the other.

"Kuchiki-san? What…." Orihime comes fully awake as soon as she sees Rukia step out of her gigai in shinigami form, and Rukia sees her friend's mouth fall open. "That reiatsu…!"

"We need to help Renji." The small shinigami says determinedly.

Orihime leaps out of bed, hurriedly pulling on shoes and grabbing hairpins from the night stand.

"Hai!"

* * *

_Next update - what is this reiatsu? Is Renji ok?_

_*end teasers*_

_Hope you enjoyed it :)_


	7. 6 Stormbreaker

_Wheeee, I told you I'd update sooner! I'm trying to stay a chapter ahead of myself now, so I already have the draft of the next one... I am thinking of changing the characters listed on this (admittedly in an attempt to broaden my audience even more, because I'm greedy) possible to Ichigo and Orihime... or Orihime and Renji.... or Orihime and Rukia... agggh! Why don't they let you put in 4 characters, dammit?  
_

_So after nothing much happening in the last few chapters, it seems everything's happening at once! Finally some action lol!  
_

_Hope it reads ok – it might seem a little unpunctuated, a little disjointed, but I think that brings across the whole adrenaline-racing, no-time-to-think kind of thing… I could be wrong though, so as always, suggestions and criticisms welcomed!_

_Reviews make my day, my week and cause me to do a little dance, so as always, let me know what you think...  
_

_

* * *

_

_Got to keep up, got to keep up, got to keep up…_

Her heart beats too loudly in her chest, and her pyjamas flap around her ankles as she runs, eyes trained on the dark haired, dark uniformed figure running just ahead of her.

She catches the glance Rukia throws back over her shoulder, catches the fear in her eyes. _Have to keep up… have to keep up…_ she reminds herself as she pushes her body to the limit.

She had been startled awake by Rukia turning on the light, and by the time her eyes had adjusted to the brightness and her brain pushed aside the cobwebs of her sleep, her friend had already been paused at the window, shihakusho ruffling in the wind, one hand on her sword.

Rukia could move so much faster than her, if she wasn't guiding Orihime to the fight. If her senses were stronger, she'd be able to find them herself, and Rukia could go ahead. But they weren't, and she wasn't familiar enough with Renji to locate his reiatsu.

It was hard to locate anything though, as they got closer to something. Something with reiatsu so strong and so _other_ that it scared her.

_What is that thing? What could be that strong? _

It was worse even than Kenpachi's, that sharp-edged blood-drenched and _oh so very pointed_ reiatsu that pressed like a blade to the chest just being within 10 feet of him. That was fierce, angry, but there was _purpose_ to it. This was… _something else._ a dark maelstrom that seemed to crush the breath from her lungs, a storm raging around them, unfocused and angry and wild.

She can hear something now, over the panting of her own breath and the pounding that was her heart or her feet on the pavement or both – a wailing roar that sent shivers down her spine. And the clash of swords, shrieking metal.

"_Renji!"_ Rukia is screaming ahead of her.

It must be bad. _Please, oh please, let him be alright._ Let them not be too late because of her. Rukia… Rukia would never forgive her. She would never forgive herself. She had tried so hard to get stronger… Kurosaki-kun had been hurt because of her, Ishida-kun had been hurt because of her – her own brother had hurt because of her. _Because she'd got it wrong_. She couldn't bear for anyone else to be hurt, not because of her own weakness.

And then Rukia is pulling away in front of her, and she can't keep up, but it doesn't matter – she can see it through the auburn hair that flaps in front of her vision. Something up ahead, big and white and roaring at the sky, something held in its hand.

She can't see Renji.

Rukia is running ahead of her, hand on her sword, toward the shadows… what does she see? Is there another monster there?

But then she sees it, the crumpled, slumped figure, shards of broken bone littered around it. Red and black. Red hair and black uniform and blood, red blood, staining the blackness blacker in the dim light.

The world seems to slow and blur before her eyes, playing out like a movie – she wants to hit pause, wants to hide her eyes, but she can't...

Rukia is running, screaming something – she thinks its _Renji_, but all she can hear is anguish in her friend's voice. And then Rukia notices the thing, and draws her sword – slowing, edging carefully toward the slumped body, ready to guard Renji against the roaring, monstrous thing that stands in the middle of the street, something glinting in its hand.

As the small, dark figure stops beside the bloody body of her lover, the thing's eyes fix on them. The figure of white bone turns to her friends, yellowed eyes shining like those of an animal in the night. And it throws back its head and roars its rage to the night sky, and a light begins to build between the vicious curved horns.

She's nearly there… so close… _just hold on, Rukia! Renji!_

Orihime pulls to a stop just metres away, reaches for the pins in her hair, and does the only thing she knows how.

"Santen Kesshun!"

And – _thank kami, thank the heavens_ – the glowing orange shield springs into being before her friends.

And _it_ looks at her.

If time had slowed before, now it stops. That crushing reiatsu is now brought to bear on her, and Orihime almost buckles beneath its weight. Black eyes with glowing yellow pupils regard her, from a mask of horned, skull-shaped bone, red lines tracing a curve of blood over each side and running, like blood, down its neck. The lines converge on the gaping hole in its defined chest, tatters of black cloth clinging to its waist, wrists, ankles, part covering the bone-white armour of its torso and legs.

It takes a step closer to her, its eyes fixed on her. The light between those wicked horns has died, but she waits breathlessly, frozen under that gaze. It advances another step, long orange hair vivid against the white and red of its body. All she can hear is her own heart pounding in her ears – _so loud, so loud, does it hear that?_ – and once again her knees threaten to give way, but somehow she is able to stay upright, keeping her trembling legs straight beneath her.

Any moment now, it will attack. She can see the glint in its right hand… a sword. Any moment now it will lift that sword, and pierce her, and devour her. The shield… the shield is protecting her friends, and she wouldn't call it to herself for the world. She will be strong, this time. She will save them. She will stand before those animal eyes, and she will _not give way…_

"Orihime!"

Rukia's voice. It breaks the spell, and somehow Orihime finds herself able to move. In an almost automatic move, her hands go to hairpins.

"_Tsubaki!"_

But even as the tiny figure speeds in a glowing slash toward the monster, it is simply… gone. The crushing weight is lifted from her, the reiatsu gone.

And now, she falls to her knees, her body shaking, her breath coming in short gaps of shock and relief.

_Still alive._

And then Rukia is beside her, helping her up.

"Orihime? Are you ok? Did it…?"

She shakes her head frantically. _I'm ok I'm ok I'm ok…_

"Oh! Abarai-kun…" She realises, looks up frantically at her best friend.

Rukia's eyes are wide with fear, tear tracks streaking her cheeks. So unlike her normal composed self that Orihime's heart twists in her chest.

_She'll never forgive me…_

_

* * *

And you thought the last one was a cliffhanger - I'm not telling you – you'll have to wait for the next chapter._

_Yes, I know that's just cruel. But I've got to keep you reading somehow, right?  
_

_Hope you enjoyed it :) As always, constructive criticism is welcomed (and begged for - pretty please with sprinkles?)  
_


	8. 7 It's On the Tip of My Brain

Mwahahaha – an update! I have just finished writing the Thesis Chapter that Ate Tokyo, so its nice to write something non-scientific again! This story is actually the only Bleach-like thing I'm into at the moment, since it seems forever since anything plot-related happened in the manga… and don't even get me started on Bleach filler arcs. I haven't even tried watching this one – seems to me that since Zabimaru doesn't look like what we've been shown Zabimaru to look like, it's going to plain annoy me. I'm also fully up to date on Naruto, FullMetal Alchemist and Vampire Knight, so if anyone has any recommendations for something to keep me quiet they would be much appreciated.

Ahem. Excuse the rant :)

It has been pointed out to me that I broke Renji right before his birthday, for which I feel very cruel. I'm going to have to make that up to him at some point. However, that'll have to wait a chapter. Sorry to all the people waiting impatiently for the IchiHime ness to start, but ehhh, anticipation'll just make it better, right? I really didn't realise this story was gonna wind up so long...

As ever, thanks so much for all the reviews – please do keep letting me know what you think, the more reviews, the more excited I get about the story and the quicker I update… ha haaaa, bribery!

* * *

"You don't speak?"

A roar is the only answer, and it lunges, malevolent yellow eyes glinting through the mask. Renji barely manages to bring Zabimaru up in time to block the blow, and quickly moves in for a counterattack – but the thing is gone. Only the light building between the curved horns draws the redhead's eyes to where it now stands.

Cero!

He dodges, barely, but lands awkwardly, thrown off balance by the blast behind him. Desperately, he scrambles to his feet, but comes face to face with white bone streaked with blood red, a taloned hand…

He hits the wall hard, and feels ribs break. Hot liquid fills his mouth and he coughs, spits, sees red splash onto the pavement. But there's no time to recover, because it's coming – an unearthly howl bursting from the skull-toothed mouth as the sword drives straight for his chest.

_Clang._

Zabimaru knocks the blade aside, the whip-like blade already curving around to strike at the white-masked face. It meets only air, the figure gone so quickly Renji's eyes can barely follow the movement.

_How the __**fuck**__ is this thing so fast?_

It's beside him in an instant, the slim katana coming down on his left side. Renji already knows that Zabimaru cannot retract in time to block the blow. He braces himself… pulls his left arm up to deflect the sword, gritting his teeth against the searing pain as the blade bites into his flesh, hears the crack as the bone stops the blow – and breaks.

There are humans living here… if he goes all out, then there will be damage. Buildings might fall, people might be hurt…

But if he doesn't, he might not survive. And this thing… he's never felt reiatsu like it. Stronger, far stronger even than a captain-level shinigami, stronger than a Vasto Lorde hollow, but different from both.

_Zabimaru… fight with me…_

The cry sounds in his head, matched by the screaming of the skeletal snake's head as the monstrous form materialises. The comforting weight of fur settles around his shoulders and curves around his right arm, as an answering shout rips from his throat.

"Bankai! Hihiou Zabimaru!"

A flick of his wrist sends a wave of movement along the serpentine blade, magnifying with each segment, the giant fangs reaching for the monster in front of it. But the white figure simply dances out of the way of the gaping maw, torn black clothes and long mane flapping around it. Every flick of the redhead's wrist causes jaws to snap on empty air.

_Too fast – I can't win this way!_

Gathering his strength, Renji gathers his reiatsu, sending it circulating through the segments of his blade. He can't use this attack more than once in the fight; it simply draws too much strength out of him. But the skeletal serpent cannot match the speed of the hollow-thing, so he has to try…

"Hikotsu Taihou!"

The beam of pure power shoots from the fanged mouth, straight to the white figure, and Renji sees, briefly, golden eyes widen. A fierce grin spread over his face. Fast as this thing is, even it cannot dodge a pure energy attack!

A hand rises, and talons spread – and the streaming red energy bounces and deflects from the bone-white appendage. Renji's jaw drops.

_Shit._

And then the creature is gathering its own energy, that bright light gathering between its twin horns. _A Cero!_ Renji draws his arm back, knowing he won't dodge in time, wrapping the bone blade around himself in a protective cocoon.

He hears the twin screams of Zabimaru in his head when the blast hits, feels himself thrown backward despite the protection of the blade. His head and back hit a wall, and he slumps to the ground, desperately trying to refocus his blurred vision, half-aware of the segments of Zabimaru's blade as they fall around him.

Falling forward, he tries to catch himself with his hands, unable to stop the scream that rips from his throat as his weight lands on his broken forearm. White claws appear in his vision as the thing steps in front of him.

_I'm going to die here._

His fist tightens around the bone hilt of Zabimaru in his hand.

_Sorry,_ he murmurs to the nue softly. There's no reply, but calmness settles over him. "Higa… Zekkou…." Renji rasps out, gathering all the power he has left. _Please let it be enough. Please let this catch it off guard…_

The bone segments separate, lift, orient themselves so that the ridges along the back of the spine point toward the creature. Renji allows himself a small smile. He may be broken – but fast as that thing is, its surrounded. He can still win!

The thing screams as the bone segments fly toward it in a vicious rain, raising a cloud of dust which obscures it from vision. Renji sags in relief, his heart hammering in his ears. It's hard to breathe – one of his broken ribs has punctured a lung. Even if he's won, he's in trouble – Higa Zekkou has drained him of reiatsu, broken Zabimaru, and he doesn't think he could stand even if he tried.

But… he forces his head up, to look at the clearing dust.

_What?!_

The long mane streams behind the creature as it lunges forward from the dust, a clawed hand wrapping around Renji's neck and slamming his body hard into the wall behind him. Brick crumbles around him, and he feels his right shoulder dislocate as the thing rips Zabimaru's handle roughly from his grasp, dropping it to the floor beside him.

_It wasn't even hurt… not at all…_

The skull-shaped mask, decorated with its curving lines of red, is just inches from his face. He can hear the rasp of it's breathing, slowly being drowned out by the racing of his own heart as his body fights for oxygen. Fuck… the thing is raising its sword…

Renji's vision is already going black around the edges.

_Rukia… _

He thinks he hears her… or feels her… somewhere.

_Don't come… stay away… stay AWAY…_

The slim blade drives down and bites into his chest. Hot blood fills his mouth, spills down over his chin as he chokes. His vision begins to fade, the edges slowly imploding until all he can see is yellow…. Yellow irises in a black sclera, two yellow dots in blackness…

His neck is released, and he falls like a broken puppet to the ground, choking, his body fighting for air through the blood and the damaged lung filling with fluid.

_Sorry… Rukia…_

_*****************************************************************************************  
_

"Inoue-san, you need to rest."

"I'm fine. Just a bit longer."

"You've been working non-stop for hours. You're exhausted. And he's stable now. You should sleep, Inoue-san. You can do more tomorrow."

"I can do this… I can keep going…"

"Orihime… Ishida's right. And I'll stay with him. If he gets worse again… I'll come wake you. But you need to rest."

"I'm sorry…. Kuchiki-san…"

******************************************************************************************

He can't breathe… can hear the rasping of his own breath as his body struggles for air, a millisecond of rasping breath all he can manage before his airways close up. Panic runs through his head. _What's wrong? What happened?_

"Shhh, Renji. It's alright. You were wounded, but we're healing you now… You're going to be fine…"

That voice… Rukia… instantly calming, sending warmth coursing through his body, sending him back into blackness.

_Wounded… What had happened?_

The scene plays out in his head again. The monster… that insane reiatsu, so much reiatsu, nobody had that much power. Not even Ichigo… or did he? Renji couldn't remember. But it hadn't felt like Ichigo… Hadn't looked like Ichigo… Ichigo wasn't a hollow…

Only the hair colour was the same. That thing… it had orange hair. But long, a mane down its back, not those ridiculous short spikes. Hair… it didn't grow that fast…

Again, he sees the creature step toward him… feels his shoulder ripped from its socket, sees the blade plunged through his chest, sees those yellow eyes gleaming through the white and red mask…

There's something… he knows there is. His mind is screaming at him from somewhere, but in the sea of pain and darkness and confusion it's screaming from inside a locked box, and he can't find the key.

_Zabimaru…_

No answer, and he remembers the Cero, the serpent protecting him, then Higa Zekkou… Damn. Zabimaru would know. The nue was probably raging at him for missing whatever it was.

_It had walked away unscathed…_

_The sword drives though his chest…_

_The sword…_

_It was something about that sword._

Hanging against the wall, struggling for breath, pain coursing throughout his body, he forces himself to focus… replaying the scene over and over again.

Black… it was black. A rectangular guard… a simple pattern… a bar extending from each corner and running along the line of the guard…

Such a slim blade…

It was familiar, somehow. Why?

"_Let me fight that bastard… Next time… I... will win!" _

_Zabimaru?_

But the voice is gone.

That bastard… I will… win…

_Zangetsu?_

_

* * *

_

The plot thickens…

Hope you enjoyed reading! As ever, let me know what you think - I aim to please, and to improve :)


	9. 8 Don't Leave Me

_Errr, so it's been a really long time since I updated this, and I'm sorry - I've been kind of caught up in a whole mess of worries about the future, job applications and interviews, thesis-writing, and I got myself so stressed and depressed it has been about all I could do to crawl out of bed of a morning. Or a mid-afternoon, anyway. However, I'm here, and I bear soppiness. _

_Thanks as ever to all those who read, review, and favourite - you make me happy and keep me writing :) Especially those who keep coming back, I hope I can continue to keep your interest!_

* * *

Orihime had gone to bed, and Rukia knows she should too. The girl had assured her that Renji was fully healed, and that he just needed to rest now – for his body to recover from the strain of the wounding and healing, and for his drained reiatsu to replenish itself. She had been stumbling with exhaustion as Chad had helped her from the room, but still looking back over her shoulder with concern. Always so worried about her friends.

_What would we do without her?_

Renji would probably have died, without her. Rukia could have used some healing kidou, maybe stabilised him enough to open a portal and get him to the Fourth Division, but it would have been touch and go. His ribs had been broken, his lungs pierced, one arm mostly torn from its socket and his throat almost crushed, not to mention the gaping wound in his chest. He had been choking on his own blood when Rukia had got to him.

_You'd have lost him._

Her fists clench as she watches the tattooed face, calm in sleep, cleaned of the blood that had covered it. He looked like it had never even happened, like him fighting for breath in her arms with his blood soaking into her shihakusho was all just some horrible nightmare.

_You'd have LOST him._

Rukia squeezes her eyes shut, tears threatening to escape, trying to shut out that thought that keeps thundering around the inside of her head. No. No, she would not think about that. He was here, and he was ok, he was fine.

Nothing, not even Aizen himself, would get her to leave his side until he woke up. Some part of her wouldn't be satisfied until then, even though she hadn't done more than doze in her chair since last night. Besides, she knows from experience how disorientating it can be to wake up after a battle not knowing where you are.

Reaching out, she wraps her hand around his, taking comfort in the warmth and the familiar feel of his skin. And waits.

The light has already begun to seep in around the cracks of the curtains as he shifts, a slight frown crossing his face, the deep breaths of sleep changing into a quicker rhythm.

Her heart beats too loud, too fast, as she waits for him to open his eyes. Dammit. She knows he's ok – why is she so nervous?

And then he does open his eyes, looking first at the ceiling, then around, until his gaze finds her.

Her breath whooshes out of her, and tears fill her eyes. Damn. DAMN. She can't help it, she's just so… relieved… Damn being a girl. It was hormones, or something, she'd swear. Over-active tear ducts. She hates to cry.

A big, warm hand brushes her cheek, and she blinks the tears away fiercely.

"That bad, huh?" His voice is rough, unsurprising after almost having his throat torn out, and he's smiling, but his eyes are serious. She says nothing, not trusting her voice yet.

"Are you… was anyone else hurt?"

She shakes her head, regaining a little of her composure.

"Just you."

He sighs in relief.

"Baka!" She punches his arm, not hard – he is injured after all. His eyes widen as his hand flies to the spot. "Getting yourself hurt like that! You should have called us! You shouldn't have fought that thing without backup! Baka, baka, baka, baka!"

He finally grabs her hands to calm her.

"Whoa, Rukia! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

She glares at him. His lips curve, just a small smile, and it's enough. She finds herself smiling back. Damn him.

He always makes her smile. At least until he opens his mouth.

"How long have I been out?"

"Just over a day."

He frowns. "Fuck. I'm still tired. And you haven't slept either, have ya?"

She scowls. "How did you know?"

"'Cause you look like shit… hey! HEY!" He grabs her hands again as she hits him, less gently this time.

He scoots over on the bed. "Get up here."

She shakes her head at him, folding her arms primly. "No. You were injured. You need rest."

"So do you," he points out, raising one tattooed eyebrow.

"I can rest in my own room."

"Yeah, but that'd be less fun," he grins at her.

She feels the answering smile tug at her lips and struggles to stay stern.

"Just get up here, will ya? I almost died, after all. I deserve a bit of comforting."

She laughs, then. "Baka," she tells him, without real venom. Truth be told, she wants nothing more than to cuddle beside his warmth, feel him holding her. He might have almost died, but she's the one that needs comforting.

She climbs onto the bed, settles beside him. He wraps one strong arm around her waist, drawing her close as she settles her head on his shoulder. She presses her face against the tattooed neck, inhaling his familiar scent, feels muscle under her hand as she slides her arm across his stomach.

His breath stirs her hair as he tilts his head sideways, presses a kiss against the top of her dark head.

"Nnn. See, that's better," he murmurs, voice already sleepy.

Laying against him like this, she's always reminded – not that it's easy to forget – of how small she is, compared to him. Even with her head on his shoulder, her feet barely reach past his knees. At first it had felt strange – as if he could break her. And he probably could; she was strong for her size, she made sure of that, but there was only so strong you could be when you were 4 foot 9. But it had been exciting, too, when those arms wrapped around her, knowing he could snap her in two without even trying. And instead, he was always so gentle. Now, it made her feel safe from the world, safe from everything, when he held her.

Tears fill her eyes again and she presses her face into the warmth of his shoulder, feeling the slight scratch of bandages under her chin. Her arm tightens around his waist and he twitches, makes a soft sound in his sleep, his arm pulling her even closer against his side. She lets herself be comforted by the warmth of his body, by his breath stirring her hair, by the steady rise and fall of his chest.

_You almost lost him…_

I won't. I won't let that happen. Whatever that thing was… I won't let it hurt him again. I will kill it. I swear, I will kill it.

*******************************************************************************************************************

It's dark again when she wakes. Evening, or night. She raises her head to search for the glowing numbers of the clock. Eight o'clock.

"Mornin'. Or evening, I guess." She can feel his voice as well as hear it, a soft rumble through his chest.

She tilts her head to meet his eyes, finds them surprisingly serious.

"How do you feel?" She asks, trying to keep her voice business-like. Well, as business-like as she could be, given their positions.

"M'ok. You?"

She nods, and he shifts, suddenly, onto his side so he faces her.

His hand traces the curve of her side, settling on her hip. She meets his eyes, sees the heat in them as he leans in. His lips brush hers, then settle… a soft kiss quickly giving way to passion as she presses against him. Her hands trace the patterns of his tattoos by memory, skin warm and smooth under her touch. She shifts her hands to the bandages wrapping his chest, covering what had been a sword wound… Her kiss turns desperate, and she presses herself tightly against him, trying to lose herself in the feel of him.

He pulls away from her very slightly, concern in his eyes. "Oi, Rukia…"

She silences him with another kiss, and he gives in, shifting their positions so his familiar weight is pressed atop her, his hands searching for the fold of her kimono. She shivers under his touch, needing more. Affirmation – this fierce desire to be closer, to touch every inch of him, to reassure herself that he's there, that he's whole, that they're _alive_.

A knock at the door startles them both.

"Kuchiki-san?" Orihime's voice. Of course – she'd locked the door after Orihime had left. Some small measure of safety against the world outside the room. For all the good it would do against that _monster_.

Renji looks down at her, red-brown eyes dark with passion. "Rukia…" he breathes the name softly.

Another knock, and he draws away, leaving her to adjust her clothing as she sits up and then pads over to unlock the door.

Orihime smiles at her uncertainly. "Is Abarai-kun.."

"I'm fine, Orihime. Thanks to you." Renji appears behind Rukia, a warm smile on his face. Orihime's face breaks into a smile of relief.

"I'm so glad! I was so worried… I'm just so glad to be able to help!"

Rukia smiles at her, letting the girls warmth, her relief, wash over her. On a rare impulse, she hugs her friend, feeling Orihime cling to her for just a second.

"Thank you," she whispers fiercely against Orihime's ear.

_Safe. They're all safe._

As she steps back her eyes meet Orihime's, and the girl smiles at her in gentle understanding.

"Orihime, are the others here?"

Renji's voice is serious, and both girls look at him in surprise. His jaw is set; there's determination in his eyes. Rukia feels a weight settle in her stomach. Orihime nods.

"Renji…"

"Get 'em in here. There's something'…" He pauses, eyes distant, then takes a breath. "There's something about that _thing_ you need to know."

* * *

_So I said it was soppiness. But ahhh, I said I'd make it up to Renji for getting his ass torn apart by a monster :) So he gets a bit of love in this chapter._

_Next chapter's presently doing my head in, but hopefully up soon, if I can just iron out a couple of things that I can't quite hit on._

_Hope you enjoyed reading :)_


	10. Interlude

_So, I apologise for the sheer lack of updates. I have been drowning in thesis, and trying to get a job, and trying to find somewhere to live (because come December I am homeless and jobless, and need to have submitted said thesis). _

_However, I wanted to post a little something just to reassure you all that I am still working on this and it isn't one of those stories that just fades out… I actually have the next three chapters planned, if I can just find the damned time and energy to write them! _

_So consider this an interlude, and I promise more to come. _

_Thanks to all reviewers as always, you guys help so much to keep me going. Hugs and cookies to all of you :)  
_

_

* * *

Rage… _

_The whole world was red with it. Red, and white, and black, like itself. White for the hollows it killed, weak, stupid. Red for the blood it spilled from that __**shinigami**__. Black, for the darkness it loved, for the black uniform that clung to its wiry frame._

_Free to hunt, and free to __kill__._

_Shinigami…_

_It was their __fault. __**IT**__ was their fault. They had __**imprisoned**__ it…_

_That red shinigami… there was something… something wrong… _

_For a moment, it had hesitated._

_But then it had remembered fighting. The urge to be stronger. To __**prove**__ itself! _

_Had it fought the red one before?_

_No… nothing it fought survived. _

_Except that one. Its __**friends**__ had come. So weak, and they had tried to save it._

_Why hadn't it killed them? They were just as weak! _

_It __**should**__ have killed them!_

_But…_

_Grey eyes. Auburn hair. A smile._

_What was a smile?_

_It… _

_A prickling of reiatsu along its neck. A hollow… another weakling…_

_This was __**its**__ killing ground. No other creature was allowed here!  
_

…_What was a smile?_

_Forget it… _

_The rage bubbles up around it._

_**Forget it.**_

_**

* * *

**I promise a proper chapter soon!_

_Thanks for sticking with me :)  
_


	11. 9 Overactive Imagination

_'Lo all, finally the next chapter :) I prostrate myself at your feet and beg forgiveness for the insanely long time it has taken me to get this up. However, I now have a job, so all I have to do is find a place to live, and then I may even get a couple weeks break over christmas (which would be amazing, because the only day I had off last year was christmas day itself)._

_Anyway, this chapter has been giving me trouble, but then I managed to break my writers block with something completely different (I apologise for anyone who read my Code Geass oneshot and wondered why I was posting anything other than this) and it seems to have worked._

_I haven't had chance to properly proof this chapter, so it might be a bit typo-heavy._

_Reviews are love as ever, and will save you from the green fluorescenet flying monkeys that I will unleash on the world one of these days. Also, I have now succumbed to LiveJournal (same username) so if anyone feels like giving me a challenge or just keeping up to date with any of my writing, please befriend me on there (I accept prompts for any of the animes I watch!)_

_Thankyouthankyouthankyou all so much for still reading, if you haven't got bored of waiting for this update :)_

* * *

Orihime looks nervously at Renji from her perch on the side of the bed, wondering what is coming. Had he been more badly hurt than they though? Was there some news from Soul Society?

Whatever it is, she has a bad feeling about it. Because Renji won't meet any of their eyes, and the hands resting in his lap are clenching and unclenching. Even Rukia is looking at him wide-eyed. The expectant silence stretches out, until the rough voice finally comes.

"It was… using Ichigo's sword."

The silence is broken by the chorus of shocked denials, vehement protests, that spill forth from every one of the others.

"I know it sounds fucking crazy!" Renji's voice persists. "But I know that sword. Me an' Ichigo did a lot of sparring when we were waitin' for Rukia to recover. Tryin' out our bankais and all that. I saw that damned blade a bit closer up than I'd've liked, and I'd recognise it anywhere."

Orihime continued to shake her head. _It couldn't be Kurosaki-kun_. He might scowl at everyone, but he was kind. He saved people. He would never have done to Renji… what that _monster_ did.

"There's somethin' else, too. Somethin' Kuchiki-taicho said to me before he sent us off." Renji's voice was quiet, but held everyone's attention nonetheless. "I thought it was weird, at the time but… I didn't really think so much more about it. But he said…" The red-head looks away, fists clenching, then continues slowly. "He said… Kurosaki had more power than a human should have, and that there'd never been a case like his before. He said that if Ichigo couldn't control that power, then…" Another pause. Even Rukia's eyes were wide… Orihime guessed Renji hadn't even told her what had been said.

"Then I had to do the right thing, whatever it took." Renji's words had spilled quickly from his mouth, echoing in the frozen silence that followed.

"Nii-sama…" Rukia had breathed, finally.

Renji had stood, then, pacing away from them, every muscle corded. "Look, you know as well as I do… there's no way anyone other than it's owner can wield a zanpakutou, especially not in bankai form. It's like… it's like Kuchiki-taicho knew what we were gonna find."

Orihime looks around at the others, horror in her eyes. _No, no, no..._ they can't believe… surely they wouldn't think that…

Rukia's gaze shies away from hers, purple eyes filling with tears even as her lower lip trembles and her fists clench. And then Ishida is speaking, and he looks calm, oh so calm, and Orihime wants to scream at him.

"Kurosaki-san did fight Kuchiki-san at the execution, if I recall rightly. Perhaps something occurred during that fight?"

_Shutupshutupshutup…_

"The thing you described sounded like a hollow." Chad offers, and even his normally strong voice carries just the slightest hint of uncertainty.

"It did look like one. But.." Rukia's response is hesitant. "It didn't feel like one. At least, not one I've ever felt. But it was so strong… the only reiatsu I've ever felt that was that strong was… Ichigo's…"

"Hollows are the souls of humans," Ishida points out, pushing his glasses up his nose. "And Kurosaki-san's soul is human, as well as shinigami. I've never heard of a case like it before, but it is possible…"

"No!!" It's only a second after the cry silences them that Orihime realises it's come from her, and that she's on her feet, tears trembling at the corners of her eyes and threatening to spill down her cheeks.

"Kurosaki-kun… is a kind person! He wouldn't do that!" Her desperate gaze rakes over every one of them. Rukia turns her head away. Ishida meets her gaze only for a moment, but she sees acceptance on his face. Chad meets her eyes with only sadness in his calm gaze. And Renji… Renji is looking at her with something like pity.

"I know it's tough, Inoue," he offers. "I didn't wanna believe it either. But… it's not just the sword, or the reiatsu. There was somethin' in the way that thing fought… like the way it moved was familiar. I don't know how it coulda happened but…"

"How can you say that?" Orihime realises she's screaming, and Ishida is holding her shoulder, trying to calm her down, or hold her back, she's not sure which. "He's your friend! He's all of our friend! He saved us! He _saved_ me!"

"Orihime…" Rukia's voice, and now those large purple eyes are on her, pleading.

"I won't listen! I won't believe it!"

Orihime runs from the room, slamming the door behind her, even as Ishida calls after her.

* * *

She flies her spaceship through the maze of stars and planets represented by the lights surrounding her. A flashing neon sign becomes the laser of an enemy craft, and she rolls and dives, dodging fire. The enemy is protecting something… a planet, she thinks. Orihime lands her spaceship, pushes open the hatch, steps out onto red sandy ground. A cry rends the air, and she turns, finding herself faced with an alien, tall, lean, skull-faced and grinning as a light builds between wickedly curved horns…

Orihime reins her thoughts in with a shiver, wrapping her arms around herself as she tries to calm her racing heart, staring blankly into the window of the store she stands in front of. Her imagination had gotten the better of her again. She had been trying to think of something else, take her mind off the problem at hand, but of course, it wouldn't let this particular horror escape her.

She replays the earlier conversation in her mind. Renji's rough voice, the way his eyes slid over all of them without making contact…

"_I had to do the right thing, whatever it took…"_

_Kurosaki-kun, it's not true… I know it's not…_

Orihime follows her feet, relishing the feel of the night air, trying to take that calm into herself. There's something about walking under the night sky, anonymous under the indifferent glare of the ever-spinning galaxy. It's one of the few times she can be surrounded by silence, by calm, and she pauses, closes her eyes and stretches her arms wide, lifting her face to the stars, letting the cool air seep slowly into her, settling the roiling of her stomach and the feverish thoughts of her brain… calming the racing images of a monster with orange hair and yellow eyes staring at her, of a scowling orange-haired boy blocking the claws aimed at her heart with his sword.

Opening her eyes, she realises her wandering has taken her out of the centre of town, and she's alone out here, away from the gentle bustle of a cool evening in the small town. Sighing, she turns to retrace her steps.

The others will be getting worried.

She sees the first glimmer of light up ahead, and starts toward it.

That's when the reiatsu hits.

Oh god… that feral maelstrom of rage and hate and darkness. Orihime stops, blood frozen in her veins, unable to breath, her heart beating so wildly, so loudly that it feels her pulse will jump right out from her throat.

_Pleasepleasepleaseplease… let it not be here…_

The growl comes from behind her, and she spins, terrified, only to see it. White bone turned a sickly sulphur-yellow by the street lights, red traced over the contours as dark as dried blood, and those haunting, surreal yellow eyes.

For a moment, as her eyes meet its gaze, Orihime is sure her heart stops beating.

When her brain unfreezes a moment later, she wonders why she is still alive. That thing… it had been so fast. It could have killed her easily, already. And yet here she stands, heart beating wildly, her breathing _soloudsoloudsoloud_ in the silence.

And then it stalks a step toward her, head lowering, those eyes finally releasing her from the frozen silence it had wrapped her in. Another growl fills the air, and it begins to move toward her.

_Oh god… she's going to die… and they'd all blame themselves for letting her run…_

_Protect yourself, idiot! Or what was all that training for?!_

Her hands fly to the pins in her hair.

"Sa… Santen Kesshun!" Her voice is strangled, high-pitched, but she somehow forces the words out. "_I reject!"_

The shining golden shield forms between her and the creature, and it stops. She trembles as it stares at her through her shield, the coldness of its regard apparent even through the warm gold between them.

It continues toward her, and Orihime's panicked mind wonders what to do. She is unprotected from behind, and its right in front of her, and the shield… she knows how strong this _thing _is and it won't stand up for long.

She hears the sound of metal, the jingle of a chain, and she realises the creature has a hand on the hilt of its black sword…

_Please… everyone… don't blame yourselves… Tatsuki… don't hate me for dying…_

_Ichigo… I'm sorry…_

It releases the sword, and one long, clawed finger reaches out and scrapes along the shield.

Orihime thinks her heart will leap out of her chest and run screaming down the road behind her.

And then the clawed hand strokes over the golden shield, and an odd rumbling comes from the inhuman throat of the thing facing her. A growl, rising to something like a howl, then fading to a half hiss. And it sounds… it sounds like…

_…_

And Orihime almost, almost drops her shield, eyes widening, as the thing growls her name.

The long nail scrapes over the surface of the shield again, and the sound is repeated.

"Ku…." Her voice won't obey her, it trembles and shivers and tries to avoid saying the word she's trying to form.

"Kuro… saki… kun…"

It throws back its head and howls.

_And then_

"Inoue!"

A flash of blue before her eyes, as a spirit arrow speeds past her shield, and the thing jumps back hissing.

Ishida skids to a stop beside her.

"Are you alright, Inoue?"

"A.. ah." She manages to get the affirmation out from trembling lips.

She sees Ishida draw back his bow, about to shoot another arrow. And just as suddenly, the creature is gone, vanishing with a roar into the darkness.

Ishida drops his bow, and his gentle hands reach for her, trying to sooth her.

"It's alright, Inoue. It's gone. You can let the shield down, now. I'm here."

Orihime lets the shield fall, and stares at her trembling hands.

"Inoue?"

She throws herself into Ishida's surprised arms as the first sob tears its way out of her throat.

* * *

Please note that as this is taking place some time after the return from Soul Society, I'm assuming Ishida has talked daddy dearest into getting his powers back. probably a lot easier as well, because without Ichigo around, he wouldn't have to worry about associating with Shinigami.

Hope you enjoyed reading. Remember, no reviews means a green flourescent evil monkey pointing at you from your bedroom window one of these night...

...ok, that sounded weirder than I thought.


	12. 10 What we need is a Mongoose

_Argh... so this is kinda short, and not really my best. It's been a somewhat stressful couple months - finishing my thesis, relocating, starting a new job, trying to find furniture (I've managed to get a bed, at least, but I still don't have a sofa) and for some reason my Muse has been throwing a hissy fit since about Christmas and I've been totally incapable of actually getting anything down in writing._

_All I can do is offer my humble and abject apologies and hope some of you are still reading this. And say that the Muse is gradually emerging for her self-imposed isolation and has given me a couple good ideas for this story, which hopefully means she'll let me get up and running again!_

_Honestly. Hormanal Muses are a pain in the arse..._

_

* * *

_

Flash step is wonderful thing, Renji reflects, as the air whistles past his face and the rooves come and go under lightning-fast feet. He is somewhat relieved to be away from the others, away from the heavy atmosphere, away from Orihime's tearful eyes and Rukia's tightly-drawn lips.

He needs this time, this space, to think. He is the leader of this expedition, after all. He is the only one that has faced that thing.

_Whatever it takes…_ that's what Kuchiki-taicho had said.

He had become a shinigami to become stronger. To find the strength to protect Rukia, and others like the kids he had grown up with, kids who never had a chance. When he had been sworn into the Gotei 13 he had vowed to give his life if necessary to protect humans. When he had become Sixth Squad's fukutaicho, he had sworn to protect all those ranked below him.

He has to protect everyone from that thing, whatever it takes – isn't that right?

But that thing isn't just another monster – it's Ichigo, who had broken into Soul Society and turned everything on its head. Who had been near killed trying to protect Rukia – to protect Rukia from _Renji_. And it had been Ichigo that had shown Renji that the rules, his position, everything he had thought he was fighting for, meant nothing if he let Rukia be executed.

_Without Ichigo… Rukia might have been…_

Renji's fists clench at his sides.

This time, he can't just charge into battle headfirst. He has to protect Ichigo, too, if he can. If there is a way to bring the kid back, then he'll find it. For Rukia, and for all the humans who had stood by her.

The redhead pulls to a halt, staring down at the traditional-looking building before him.

He needs answers. And this time, he is damn well going to get them.

Outside the shop, a pouting girl huddles by the side of the building while a loud boy with flaming red hair pulls her pigtails.

Up until the point Renji lifts him up by the back of his t-shirt, and Jinta struggles and kicks in mid-air, shouting exaggerated threats at this unseen assailant.

"Is he botherin' you again, Ururu?" Renji winks at the timid girl, who blushes and looks at the floor. "Want me to teach him a lesson?"

"Put me down, you stupid freeloader! I'll… I'll kill you! Let go of me!" Jinta kicks ineffectually at the tattooed chest. "Why the hell are you even here anyway?"

"A…Ano…" Ururu begins, eyes downcast.

"Oi, kid. Aintcha got anythin' better to do than pick on girls?" Renji swings the boy round to stare him down, and Jinta sputters, kicks again, then scowls as he crosses his arms and simply hangs sullenly in mid-air.

"We should get back to work… Tessai-san will be angry…" Ururu manages at last, and Renji rolls his eyes as he deposits the grumpy boy back on the ground.

"You better not try that again! I'll be ready for you next time!" Jinta threatens, grabbing his broom and sweeping furiously in an attempt to hide the angry blush on his face.

"Yeah, yeah, kid. One day," Renji chuckles, and ruffles Ururu's hair as he passes. The girl simply sends him a nervous, but grateful smile as he passes. "Boss in?"

"In the back," Ururu murmurs.

Indeed, no sooner has Renji slid the door aside and stepped onto the tatami, than the behatted owner pops up from behind a desk, fan poised in front of his face.

"Yare yare, if it isn't Freeloader-san! And what can we do for you today? Some food perhaps? Or do you need a clean uniform?"

Renji scowls at the shopkeeper. He had stayed at the Shoten for a month or so, while they'd been looking for Ichigo and trying to keep control of the Hollows that had erupted after Aizen's betrayal. He'd swear Urahara had given him that nickname deliberately, knowing it pissed him off. After so many years fighting for food, stealing what they could get, he had sworn he wouldn't be a burden on anyone again – and the damned _getaboushi_ knew it too.

"I ain't stayin'," he announces, then attempts to fix the man with a stare – quite a job with the blue eyes constantly shadowed by the brim of the ever-present hat.

"Ohhhh?" The fan flicks once, twice. "Then what can we do for you, Abarai-fukutaicho?"

"I'm here for answers. And this time, you ain't getting' out of it."

A laugh and a flutter of the fan, hiding the expression on Urahara's face, as his cheerfully mocking voice rings out. "And what could I, a mere handsome shopkeeper, know about anything that would interest a fukutaicho of the Gotei 13?"

Renji pulls himself to his full height, and puts his most impressive glare on his face. The effect is enough to make most of Sixth Squad tremble, but of course, it merely draws a smirk from Urahara.

"How 'bout you tell me how a dying human kid with his soul chain destroyed managed to become a Shinigami?"

The fan lowers, and Urahara meets his eyes straight on for the first time.

"Oh? And why would you wish to know about that?"

Renji shrugs. "Might be that somethin' didn't go quite accordin' to plan, maybe. Somethin' that might have to do with the kids disappearance, and some weird monster carryin' a zanpakutou…"

He hopes and prays that he's playing this game right. Subtlety is not his strong point. Rukia was better at this shit, but with Orihime so upset… girls needed to stick together, right? And besides, he'd tried to get answers out of Urahara before, and somehow ended up with a months worth of chores to do. The slippery shopkeeper wasn't going to wriggle out of it this time. Not when there were lives on the line.

And then Urahara sighs, and the jovial mask on his face shatters and falls. "You'd best come through to the back, Abarai-san."

Abarai-san – the use of his name alone, instead of some mocking nickname, is enough to tell him this is serious.

Still, Renji keeps a close eye on the shopkeeper's back as he follows him through the Shoten to the small back room. It's not that he doesn't like Urahara, it's just that he cannot, for the life of him, get a read on the damned man. Ex-captain of the Twelfth, and if not as outwardly crazy as Mayuri, at least twice as complex underneath. Mayuri is easy to work out – give him something to dissect, and he's happy. Urahara… Urahara has plans within plans within plans, and worse, has no qualms about using other people to make those plans happen.

Actually, Renji considers, he takes back his earlier thought. He doesn't like the man. Dealing with Urahara tends to leave him with a nasty taste in his mouth. If nothing else, he'd put that… _thing_ into Rukia, that hougyoku, and that had led to this whole mess in the first place. And he'd used her, and Ichigo and the others, in some insane plan to get Aizen to reveal himself – but hadn't really done a damned thing to deal with consequences, not like everyone else.

Urahara was a snake, through and through. And Renji was going to have to be careful, very careful, if he wanted to bait the serpent.

He really, really wishes Rukia were here.

Renji folds his legs awkwardly beneath him as Tessai sets cups and a teapot onto the table, then pours. As the ex-Kido Corps captain begins to leave, Urahara stops him with a wave of his fan.

"Perhaps you had best join us, Tessai-san."

The burly man looks surprised, but gives a small bow a moment later, slipping out and returning with another cup.

The tension around the table is thick and Renji shifts uncomfortably, keeping his eyes on the shadowed face of the man opposite him as Urahara sips at his tea. Racking his brains, he tries to think of a way of asking the man what he needs to know.

To his surprise, Urahara himself breaks the silence.

"So it's finally happened, has it?"

Renji blinks. Processes. Then slams his hands down on the table, manners be damned.

"You _knew_ this would happen?!"

His anger is somewhat deflected by Urahara's laugh, but Renji has to fight down the urge to strangle him. "Knew? Oh, no, Abarai-san… After all, how can anyone know _anything_ for sure?"

The shopkeepers head tilts, and bright blue eyes regard Renji's face. "I merely suspected. Which, in some ways, is a good thing."

The fukutaicho retracts his fists, keeping them clenched by his side, as if afraid they might take on a life of their own. "A good thing? You knew this might happen, and you didn't… you didn't _warn_ us about it, or do anything to stop it? You let Ichigo turn into a fucking _monster_?!"

Urahara's fan waves in front of his nose. "Oh, no no no, Abarai-san." Once. Twice. Three times – like scolding a naughty child. "I have been doing _something_ about it. I've been working on a little invention… it might not stop _that monster_, as you so nicely put it, but it might give us a little time."

Renji feels his temper snap, and finally does what he's been wanting to do since he arrived – which is reach across the table, grab Urahara by the collar, and haul him partway across the table, spilling tea as he goes.

"Can we bring him back?" The redhead's voice is a snarl.

Urahara rolls his eyes, then simply reaches up and deftly disengages himself from Renji's grasp.

"I would never say anything for certain," he murmurs, the fan once again flicking in front of his face. "But it may be possible… However, it'll be dangerous."

Of course. Because nothing was ever simple. But after all… he's faced Aizen himself. What could be worse?

Renji settles back into his place, mouth set in a grim line of determination.

"Just tell me what I have to do," he returns, and Urahara's grin widens.

* * *

_Aye, I know it's kind of short, and I apologise. You'll find out more next chapter, I promise... I'm not 100% hapy with this chapter. I blame Urahara, he's a bugger to get right.  
_

_Oh, and for Urahara fans out there, I don't actually dislike him. I just think he can't be trusted - he seems to set a lot of events in motion, but then leave everyone to deal with it themselves, apart from Yammy and Ulquiorra's first appearance. I'm still waiting for him to put in an appearance in the current manga chapters..._

_As ever, thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed it - reviews will encourage me to write the next chapter quicker (ha ha haaaaa, bribery....)_


	13. 11 Storm Brewing

_I promised it wouldn't be so long this time :) I still haven't been watching Bleach much lately, though I have been reading the manga religiously as ever... all very intriguing at the moment, even if it's all fight and not much story._

_Anyway, to those who've read my Code Geass oneshots lately, I apologise for neglecting this story in the meantime, but the Muse is capricious and a couple of prompted oneshots have done me the world of good at kicking her lazy arse into gear. _

_This chapter.. well, things are starting to hot up a bit over the next couple chapters. This is also a fairly heavy RenRuki chapter, partially because I swore to make things up to Renji for beating him up a few chapters ago, and also because... well, you'll see. And it has nothing to do with the fact thatI have a thing for long hair and tattoos. Ahem. I keep switching the character classifications for this story around for the sake of getting more readers (and reviews) so sorry if that's confusing... hard to pick which of the 4 main characters this story is best for!_

_Hugs to everyone who reviewed last time, and especially to Tango Dancer and Vivienne Grainger who have stuck with it all the way through so far :) It's great to know I didn't lose your interest by taking so long to update!_

* * *

Rukia is still awake, staring at the ceiling, when she feels the rapid approach of familiar reiatsu. Glancing sideways at the other bed in the small room, she is relieved to see Orihime slumbering peacefully. The girl had been distraught; not really surprising – she had been face-to-face, literally, with the reality that Ichigo, _their_ Ichigo, had been turned into a monster.

Rukia, though at times somewhat oblivious to the 'male-female thing' when it involved herself (Renji had once rather pointedly explained the nuances of a hundred occasions he'd flirted with her and she had never noticed, in a tone that spoke volumes of both amusement and frustration), was not so oblivious when she saw it in others. The girl admired Ichigo, saw in him his loyalty, his pride, but especially his strength. His general pig-headedness didn't seem to put her off, either (Rukia allows herself a small smile at that). Rukia recognised the way Orihime would laugh nervously whenever Ichigo's name came up, the way she would blush slightly and her eyes would slide to the side. Rukia had also recognised that soft, sweet smile Orihime used to wear watching Ichigo when she thought no-one was looking.

And Ichigo… she had been less sure about him. He was, in his own way, as oblivious as she herself was to attention from the opposite sex. But he had always been different with Orihime. Gentler. Not like he was with Rukia herself, with the squabbling and the name-calling and the occasional good-natured slap or kick (well…. mostly good-natured). He looked after Orihime. And that… well, maybe that meant something. Ichigo was confusing, and he showed much the same tenderness toward his little sisters. But sometimes she thought, just maybe….

Pulling herself out of her thought she slips out of bed as quietly as she can, wrapping her kimono around herself. Padding to the bed, she opens it slowly, careful not to wake the sleeping girl as she steps out of the room and heads down the corridor to the double room she was now sharing with Renji.

Their room is dark, lit only by the moonlight streaming in through the window. She doesn't switch the lights on, instead allowing herself the indulgence of just watching. He is presumably getting ready for sleep – the kimono slipping from his shoulders to be tossed carelessly over the back of a chair, one hand reaching up to tug the bandana from around his forehead, dropping it casually on the desk. She watches the play of muscles under his skin as he turns to face her, the moonlight rippling over the black lines on the tan skin as he tugs out the thong binding his ponytail and red hair cascades down over his shoulders.

Her breath catches. He looks exotic, wild, beautiful, and she feels her heart begin to pound in her chest. Had he really been there, hers for the taking, all this time? How had it taken her so long to notice that the skinny, belligerent child had turned into this proud warrior?

He doesn't move, as if he's waiting for her, and she walks slowly across the room. It almost seems like if she moves too quickly then the moment will break and shatter. Rukia runs a hand softly over the jagged black lines of the broad chest, lines she has traced into her memory. Smirking softly to herself, she moves her hand lower, to the tattoos that run over his abdomen, relishing the way the muscles tense under her fingers and the soft hiss of breath she gets in response.

And then strong arms wrap around her, dwarfing her in his hold, as Renji lifts her off her feet. She wraps her legs comfortably around his waist as he carries her to the bed and lays her down, before covering her small body with his large one.

Even caught in the moment as she is, she can't help but notice the prickle of tension in his reiatsu, the way his kisses seem more hungry than normal, almost… desperate? And some tiny part of her wonders what on earth had happened, even as his knowing fingers tease pleasure out of every sensitive spot of her body, until heat and desire overwhelm that one tiny bit of logic and she buries her hands deep into the thick mane with a moan.

* * *

She swims lazily through layers of drowsiness, lulled by the comfortable warmth at her side, lost in pleasant memories of the night before. However, her gentle awakening is marred by the prickling tension, a prickle that tickles at her half-awoken brain.

Out of habit, she rolls to her side, curling against strong muscle, tucking her head into the familiar warmth of a strong shoulder and sighing in contentment as a tattooed arm draws her closer. That tension… why was Renji so wound up? For that matter, why was he awake before her…?

Realisation startles her awake and she pulls herself to her elbow, her slap automatically connecting just above the redhead's ear.

"Were you trying to distract me last night?" Rukia demands, glowering down at her surprised lover.

He rubs his head almost absently, glowering back at her. "Yeah, good mornin' to you too," he mutters grumpily, then a slow smirk spreads over his face. "You started it. 'Sides, if I remember right, you didn't take much distractin'…"

Rukia blushes, and automatically buries her head back into the comfortable warmth of Renji's shoulder. They stay in silence like that for a while, each revelling in the closeness of the other, until Rukia lifts her head, tenting her fingers against a pectoral, and rests her chin against her hands to watch his face.

"Urahara can't help, can he?"

She sees his jaw clench, feels Renji tense beneath her, and then he's moving, pulling away from her. She pulls the covers around her as he sits and runs a hand through tangled red locks.

"Renji?"

"He can help. Or he thinks, anyway." She can see the tension in his back and hear the undercurrent beneath the smooth voice even as he stands and pads across the room to grab his hair tie, totally unembarrassed by his nakedness.

"He thinks?"

Renji turns to her and sighs, even as his eyes sweep over her. "Get dressed. The others'll be down at breakfast soon. Might as well tell all of ya at once."

She frowns at his back as he vanishes into the bathroom, rolling over to stare blankly at the ceiling as she listens to the splash of the shower.

* * *

"So he can help?" Orihime's eyes are bright, her voice brittle with hope.

Rukia watches both friend and boyfriend worriedly as Renji scratches at the back of his neck, the way he does when he's nervous.

"Yeah. Seems like he's been plannin' for this for a while."

"He knew something was wrong with Kurosaki, didn't he?" Ishida's voice is as sharp as his gaze, a hint of righteous anger in his voice. There may be little love lost between the two boys, but each recognised each other's strength – even though neither would ever admit to it.

"Yeah." Renji sighs. "Fact is, it was probably his fault."

There's a silence, each waiting for Renji to explain. When he doesn't, Rukia prompts him softly.

"Renji?"

"Happened after me an'…" A pause, a grimace. "After me an' Kuchiki-taicho came down here to get Rukia." He shots Rukia a glance, eyes full of shame. "What Kuchiki-taicho did to Ichigo - Ichigo shouldn't 'a been able to be a Shinigami again."

"Except he did become a Shinigami again. I always wondered how that happened." Ishida adjusts his glasses, frowning in interest. "I assume Urahara had something to do with that?"

Renji nods. "Aye, s'right. Crazy fuckin' trick, too. He pulled Ichigo's spirit outta his body, and cut his saketsu."

Ishida's eyes widen, and Rukia gasps as the horror of what that could have meant rushes through her.

"He did _what_?! That damn shopkeeper… I knew he couldn't be trusted! Oh, he's so going to regret that when I next see him…" She seethes quietly, until Orihime raises a tentative hand.

"Ummm…. sumimasen… what's a saketsu?"

"It's the chain that binds a soul to its body," Ishida explains, his voice tight with anger. "When its cut, it erodes over time. The soul must go to Soul Society by the time it finishes eroding, or they become a hollow."

Orihime's horrified gasp echoes in the following silence.

"The idea was that with that cut, Ichigo would have to find his own shinigami powers before he turned into a hollow." Renji's voice is low. "'Cept the kid was a bit slow, an' he couldn't find 'em in time – he started turnin', and Urahara thought they might have to destroy him."

Rukia's fists are so tight by this point that she feels her nails biting crescent-shaped marks into her palm. _Ichigo… Ichigo had gone through that to help her…_

She sees the worried glance that Renji sends her, but he keeps speaking.

"Then at the last minute, he found his powers. Went full Shinigami. But Urahara reckons he's still got the hollow side of him, too… reckons that's what happened, the hollow sorta… fused with him, took over."

"But… he thinks he can bring Ichigo back, right?"

"He's been workin' on something since then. Like a… stasis field or summat. Thinks he can trap Ichigo in it, and then we can take him back to Soul Society or the Shouten and try to bring him back."

"So we can help him!" Orihime's voice is bright, her smile like sunshine.

"Yeah."

Rukia notes the way Renji's eyes slide away from them all, the edge to his voice.

"How do we do it, Renji?" It's a challenge, and he knows it – she can tell by the way his shoulders stiffen.

"As he is… he's too strong for it to work first time. We gotta wear him down a bit."

Silence.

"What… what does that mean?" Orihime's voice is brittle, afraid.

To everyone's surprise, it's Chad who answers. "We need to fight Ichigo."

Renji's brief nod is answer enough.

"But…!"

"Only to tire him, till we can get him in the trap. We don't hafta hurt him." Renji says, and Orihime subsides, blinking unhappily.

"And how, exactly, are we supposed to tire that thing?" Ishida frowns, his eyes glaring a hole into the table. "It's stronger than all of us."

"Ichigo's still in there," Renji sighs, scratching at the back of his neck again. "We know he won't go for Orihime… he might not go for Sado or Rukia, either. Urahara reckons that if we're all there, it'll distract him, weaken him a bit."

Another silence.

"What about you?" Rukia tries to find Renji's eyes, but he evades her gaze. "He nearly tore you apart last time!"

"Yeah, well," And now Renji raises his eyes, and the look in them sends fear like a knife-blade to Rukia's heart. _Kami_, she knows that look – defiance and anger and determination, all the things that make Renji _Renji_… and she knows what he'll say even before he opens his mouth.

"Guess I owe that idiot a beatin' to make up for last time." The cocky grin is sharp as his blade, but brittle, oh so brittle, and the icy fear sinks its claws deeper.

Ishida snorts contemptuously. "You can't beat him."

"You fancy your chances, Quincy?" The two trade glares.

"I'm saying that neither of us can beat him. He was strong before – like this, he's stronger."

"I'm the leader of this party." Renji's voice is cool, but there's fire, anger beneath it. "So I'm gonna make sure that none of you get hurt. 'Sides, I'm the only one who's fought Ichigo before, and I know his moves." Red eyes flick to her. "Rukia, you're gonna protect the others. Make sure he doesn't get to 'em."

"We should call for back-up." The words are out of her mouth before she's had time to call them back. "Nii-sama would…"

Renji pulls back as if she's slapped him, and she sees the flicker of disbelief in his eyes. "No."

"Don't be an idiot, Renji! Ishida's right, he's stronger than all of us!"

"Kuchiki-taicho sent me here to deal with it. I ain't goin' runnin' for help!" Rukia curses him in that moment, his pigheadedness, his absolute determination to always be strong and never show weakness.

"Then we fight him together." She meets his glare evenly, steel in her eyes and voice.

"Like hell we do!" Renji explodes. "You guys need to stay out of it! I'm the strongest, so I'm the one who fights him!"

Rukia is out of her seat in a second, leaning across the table to grab a handful of shihakusho.

"He'll kill you!"

She sees the betrayal in deep red eyes at her words, and then his look hardens and cools into the sharp steel of determination, even as Renji pulls her hand away from his clothing and stalks away.

They sit there in silence, thoughts running round and round in Rukia's head. Renji, bloodied and almost dead, after that last fight. The pain of losing her friends, one by one. How long it had taken her to recover from each death, how each one took a little piece of her heart with them. How large that hole would be if she lost Renji.

How she both loved and hated that determination, that fire to fight even against the most unlikely odds. As Matsumoto had told her gently once, 'You can take the idiot out of the 11th, but you can't take the 11th out of the idiot.'

Then Orihime extends a hand, laying it gently over Rukia's.

"He'll be alright," she murmurs earnestly. "We'll make sure of it, Kuchiki-san. I promise."

Another image of Renji, broken and bloodied and crumpled on the ground at the point of that thing's sword, flashes through her mind. And then Ichigo, dying, and still grabbing the hem of Byakuya's shihakusho…

_It had been her fault… all of it. If she hadn't failed to protect his family… if she hadn't interfered with Ichigo's destiny… if she hadn't tried to hide her crime… he would never have been a Shinigami, he would never have had his powers destroyed, he would never have needed Urahara's crazy schemes…_

_All to rescue her…_

They were so alike, Ichigo and Renji. So stubborn, so determined, so defiant in their need to be stronger than everyone else, to protect everyone. If either one of them got hurt in this mess, it would be her fault…

And Renji… he had wanted to be strong to save her, to help her... He would hate her for interfering, would think she believed he wasn't strong enough…

But this was her mess, and maybe this once she could make it right. Maybe she could be the one to save them.

Even if it meant that Renji would hate her... it was better than… than…

"I have to make a call." She can barely hear her own voice over the thumping of her heart, but she can hear it is perfectly steady, just as her face is perfectly expressionless. Kuchiki training had drilled this into her; that a Kuchiki was untouchable, that turmoil below the surface was not to be shown by voice or deed. She walks away from the table, reaching for her phone and mechanically dialling the number.

_Renji, forgive me._

"Nii-sama." Her voice is perfectly smooth, but inside fear clenches her heart so tightly she wonders that it doesn't stop altogether. "Your unworthy sister humbly begs your favour."

* * *

_Yeah, sooooo... Renji's my favourite character, which probably explains why I insist of fucking with his head. I'm clearly going to hell._

_I still struggle at writing group conversations, hope it read ok._

_The japanese terminology: Sumimasen = 'excuse me', Kami = God, and as you probably gathered by the explanation Saketsu is the soul chain, at least according to Bleach Wiki (strangely enough it's not a word that has ever come up during my japanese classes, nor is it one I can manage to put together via words I do know, since according to my dictionary ketsu apparently means ass)._

_As ever, I hope you enjoyed reading, and reviews are love :)_


	14. 12 Practice Makes Perfect We Hope

_I'm not dead! And nor is this story. Only my free time. I'm giving up on promises to write faster, since getting the combination of time and concentration seems night-on impossible lately, so I shall just humbly cast myself at the feet of all you readers who are still sticking with me and beg forgiveness. _

_On the plus side, I can finally call myself Dr Caraniente, since my PhD has gone through... just waiting on the final confirmation... so hurrah for work-related writing being mostly over, at least. Now I just have to learn the hundred or so kanji I'm supposed to know to take the JPLT level 5 this year... thank god it's japanese and not chinese, is all I can say. Now that's REALLY complicated.  
_

_I warn you in advance that this chapter sort of jumps around a bit... I've been focusing on Orihime, Renji and Rukia so far and will continue to do so in future chapters, but I wanted to use this chapter to take a quick look at all of the group, at their motivations the day before battle. Hope it's not too jarring._

_Also, severe overuse of italics prevails throughout :)_

* * *

They prepare.

Alone in a small clearing in the woods, Ishida lets his bow drop, and shields his eyes as he looks up at the sky. Away from the others, from their noise and their energy, he can fully concentrate on mastering Ginrei Kojaku. And he would need it, need all the power he could get, if he was to be of use in this fight. The reiatsu coming from that thing...

Ichigo, he corrects himself firmly.

"_I will teach you regain your powers, on one condition."_

Lifting the bow again, he draws the string back to his chin, posture steady, sighting through the web-shaped body.

_I swore. _

_The Shinigami killed grandfather. They killed the Quincy.  
_

_But…Ichigo is not that kind of Shinigami. He doesn't fight to kill. He fights to protect...  
_

_I may fight alongside Shinigami. I may work alongside them. But this… this is not for them. This is for Ichigo._

_He may be shinigami, but he is also human._

Ishida lets the arrow fly, cutting through the air in a blur of blue light until it hits the centre of the specially prepared target.

_...Let him still be human._

In the fields outside of the main town, Sado reaches inside himself for his power. It comes at his call, manifesting into the hardened shield that covers his right arm. He closes his left fist around the cool, solid skin, allowing the power to flow through him, feeling the renewed strength of his body.

_Abuelo… why do I have this strength?_

"_**How 'bout this, Chad? You hit for my sake. And I'll hit for yours. If it's something you'd risk your life to protect, I'll risk my life for it to."**_

"_**It's a promise, ne?"**_

_Ichigo…. You risked your life for me. You risked your life for Rukia. And I know you'd risk your life to stop a monster – even if the monster is you._

_It's a promise – my friend._

Across the field, Renji adjusts his bandana, eyes narrowed, then lifts Zabimaru into a ready stance. The light glints from the jagged edges of the segmented blade.

Eyes meet; two warriors, sizing each other up. And then Sado roars, charges, and Renji meets him halfway, the clash of steel against armoured skin ringing through the air.

_Ichigo, you dumb kid. You stormed into Soul Society for Rukia when you knew you didn't stand a fuckin' chance. You fought me when I was too angry and too stupid and too afraid to do what I should'a done in the first place. Ya saved me from makin' the dumbest mistake of my whole dumb life._

'_Bout time I returned the favour. Just hope I can hold up long enough to help ya. An' if I don't make it... well, you'll look after Rukia for me, ne?  
_

"Santun Kesshun!"

In the grounds of an abandoned warehouse, Orihime shields herself from Rukia's white blade.

"Koten Zanshun!"

Tsubaki howls as he arrows through the air, to be turned aside by a shield of solid ice. He growls as he darts back to Orihime, but he does not complain about her weak will anymore.

_Kurosaki-kun…_

_You were always strong, no matter what. Even when you had no way of winning. You saved us all, time and time again._

_Kurosaki-kun… I will not be weak anymore. This time, we will save you._

Rukia begins the first dance, calling Tsukishiro's pillar of ice from the ground to create a barrier between herself and Orihime. She hears the chink of the ice as Tsubaki strikes against it – and the pillar shatters. Above the jagged remains, she raises her eyes to Orihime's determined grey ones.

_Ichigo… forgive me. Because of me, you took this power upon yourself. Because of me, you were almost killed, left powerless. Because of me, you risked everything to find that strength again._

_And then you risked it all again, to save me._

She remembers falling on the mountaintop that day, remembered the solid wall that was Ichigo and Renji as they squared off, teamed up, to face Aizen. Remembers each of them falling, bloodied and broken, to the ground, while all she could do was shiver in her thin robe, her reiatsu drained, Sode no Shirayuki unreachable.

_Ichigo. I will save you. Even if… even if it means risking everything I hold dear…_

Orihime stretches her tired muscles. Even though she has been training hard over the last few months, helping to protect the town against Hollows since Ichigo vanished, it always made her ache.

She reaches up to pat her hairclips, whispering a soft "_Arigatou_". In her mind, she senses the warmth that is Lily and the others beaming – and Tsubaki's snort as he folds his arms grumpily.

Before her, Rukia polishes and sheathes Sode no Shirayuki, then looks away toward the fields where clouds of dust are still rising. Orihime notes the concerned look on her face.

"Kuchiki-san?"

Rukia doesn't seem to hear, and it isn't until Orihime lays a tentative hand on her shoulder that the petite shinigami jumps and turns to look at her.

"Are you worried about Renji-san?"

"Hmph." Rukia scowls and folds her arms. "Why should I worry about that idiot? If he gets himself hurt, it'll be his own fault for not calling for help."

But Orihime sees the way the smaller girl's eyes slide away from hers, back toward the dust and reiatsu and Zabimaru's echoing howl.

"Stubborn fool," Rukia mutters as she folds her arms defensively.

"He'll be alright, you know." When Rukia raises surprised eyes to her, Orihime offers her a tentative smile.

"He's got all of us to help him, after all."

"Ah." But Rukia stays quiet as they start back to the small hotel, her eyes on the floor as if deep in thought. Orihime fills the silence as best she can, trying to cheer her friend up, chattering about things they would do after this – what Ichigo would think of the new teacher at school, how they should have a party to celebrate him being back…

"Orihime… you care a lot for Ichigo, don't you?"

"Eh? Oh!" Orihime feels heat rush to her cheeks at the question, her head whipping around to see if Rukia has noticed – but the petite shinigami's eyes are still on the floor.

"Ah, I like him, no! …I mean, he's always been kind to me, but… oh…" Orihime stutters, trying to find some way of answering that won't incriminate her, face burning, heart racing. Why is Rukia asking this? Orihime feels her cheeks flame hotter as she remembers the camaraderie between Ichigo and Rukia. Was Rukia… was she asking because..? But Renji…

"I'm just wondering…" Rukia continues, her voice low. "If Ichigo did something… something you didn't like, something he knew you wouldn't like but he did it anyway… would you… do you think you could forgive him?"

"Eh?" The question takes Orihime aback, and she frowns as the rhetorical situation begins to tickle at her thoughts.

"I suppose…" She glances up at the sky. Ichigo doing something she didn't like? But… there had never been anything… had there…?

But then… he had hurt her brother… but he had done it to save her… he was…

"Kurosaki-kun… he's a good person," she begins thoughtfully after a few moments. "And anything he does, even if I didn't like it for some reason, I'd always know he did it because he thought it was the right thing to do. Or because it would help someone. So I guess…" Orihime allows a small smile to curve her lips as the image of Ichigo, bursting with that righteous anger, sword raised to defend the whole world it sometimes seemed, flashed before her eyes.

"I don't think there'd ever be any question of having to forgive." She finishes lightly.

Though she doesn't know why, Orihime is relieved when Rukia's lips curve into a small smile.

"Arigatou, Orihime-chan."

Orihime throws the covers off, tangled around her from her restless doze. The tension of the upcoming fight has left her stomach knotted and tense, her mind whirring with a thousand things. Padding to the window, she twists her fingers together, looks out at the sky. It's a full moon, round and large and somehow…

…yellow…

…against the dark sky, and for moment she sees the monsters eyes as it turns, looks back, blood dripping from white claws and black sword, Renji's figure a broken doll at its feet.

"_Could you forgive him?"_

_Can I…. can I really forgive that? If any of us were to be hurt… if any of us were to die?_

_Could I really forgive him?_

_

* * *

_

_Thank-you so much if you're still reading and hope you enjoyed it... I'm looking forward to trying to write the battle itself, but it's gonna be a pretty major challenge for me, so bear with me ne?_

_Reviews are love and encouragement... :)_


	15. 13 All I Am is This

_Finally... my corrections got accepted for my thesis... and I've made it through the probation period at my job without being sacked, which means they're stuck with me now (mwahahaha). Bleach is now lodged foirmly in my head, though I'm partially sidetracked by a strange need to write some Shuu/Ren/Kira/Hinamori stuff... eh, we'll see._

_here it is, anyway - the beginning of the battle - please bear in mind my knowledge of fighting is mainly limited to a few terms of fencing, before I decided it was too much polite dancing and gentleman prancing about to be any fun (and I got told off for being too aggressive with a saber... ahem) thus there will be less actual battle than people thinking during battle... so much for me breaking my character writing thing..._

_Anyway, I hope you enjoy it :) Thanks so much to all those who have been sticking with me - your reviews make me haaaaappeeeeeeeeee!_

* * *

The tension is palpable as Renji breaks open the flat black powdered disk that would – they hoped – attract Ichigo to them. In his head, he wills it to work. Not that Urahara has let them down before – this new and improved 'Ichigo bait' is apparently based on the hollow bait of the Quincys, but modified and strengthened to call out to… whatever the boy has become. Renji can only hope that the ex-captain has got it right, because if he hasn't – well, it'd be a hard enough battle as it is, without dozens of lesser hollows bearing down on them as well.

Though he doesn't turn, the redhead can feel them each of the others behind him, a knot of tangled reiatsu as tight as their muscles. In particular, he can feel the familiar diamond-edged reiatsu of Rukia, beside the soft glow that is Orihime. Each knows their orders. Renji will take the lead in facing the demon that is their friend.

Ishida, and Rukia, had argued, pointing out they were much stronger as a unit, attacking from all sides – and Renji had finally relented, to a degree, allowing the others to step in. But he would be the main opponent. He would ensure he was the focus of the monster's attentions. If it struck at one of the humans – or at Rukia – he would be there, and he would take the blow, if he had to.

When he had become a shinigami, he had sworn to protect humans. When he had become a fukutaicho, he had sworn to protect shinigami ranked below him. But before that, when he was just a dirty street-rat with torn clothes watching a small girl shiver in the corner of a broken shack, he had sworn that he would protect Rukia.

He had poured everything into training, for years, for decades, to be strong enough. He had seen his friends fall, one by one, in the dirty district of Inuzuri, and never had the power to save them. This… this, maybe, might go some way to making that up. To them, and to Rukia. He still remembers her amethyst eyes large with held-back tears every year they visited the hilltop gravestones of their friends.

He would die to save her that pain. And he would die to save her from fighting Ichigo. He remembers seeing her in corridors, looking like a puppet with broken strings, her spirit crushed, when Kaien had died. He didn't know if she would recover, if Ichigo were to fall by her hand.

That she might truly love him enough that she wouldn't recover if _he_ fell here today never even crossed the redhead's mind.

Each of the humans behind him had helped save Rukia. And Ichigo… the brat had saved _him_ from standing by and letting Rukia die. He would repay that debt. He would not let the idiot human hurt any of his friends.

He hears the slight creak of Ishida's bow at the same time as he feels the prickle of hairs rising on the back of his neck. Orihime gasps softly as it intensifies, a wave of pressure threatening to crush the air from his lungs and drown him in the roiling darkness.

And suddenly, it is there, in the shadows before them. Ghostly white bone, that haunting black-streaked mask, flowing orange hair – and irises of golden-yellow against fathomless black.

Renji slides fingers along the coolness of the zanpakutou blade in his hand, reaching in a way he cannot explain for something both within and outside of himself. He feels the answering surge of will in his kind, the nue's strength spreading through his body and down the blade in a tingling wave as Zabimaru comes to his call. The slim blade thickens, segments, each portion curving into a wicked silver tooth.

He steps forward, meeting the yellow eyes, his focus narrowing until it includes only his own body, the rhythm of his breathing, the movement of muscle and sinew, and the opponent stalking towards him. He cannot think of it as Ichigo. He cannot be distracted. He cannot fall.

The thing rushes, and the scream of claws against metal resonate around the area as his blade blocks the strike at his heart.

And then, quickly, too quickly, it's away, and behind him, and he tries to turn in time, Zabimaru barely lifted in time to block a second strike, talons too close to his body. But he pushes – because Ichigo was always quicker, but he was stronger.

And the beast is pushed away, back a single step, then another, enough time for Renji to recover his balance and send Zabimaru after it, segments parting to whip through the air. But the beast turns, and is gone, with only the screech of claws along the metal as the blade is diverted from its path.

It becomes a dance. Each time Zabimaru whips out, the beast is no longer there. Each time claws arrow towards his heart, they are blocked by steel. Renji doesn't know how he is keeping up with the speed of its movements, doesn't know how every time he gets the blade up in time, but somehow he is.

All he has to do is keep up the fight… wear it down, Urahara had said. Sap its strength enough that it could be trapped, in whatever contraption the crazy ex-captain had come up with. Ishida held the small cube, stowed somewhere – probably in that ridiculous cape – ready to use whenever he judged the thing's reiatsu to have dropped sufficiently.

Renji is almost surprised to realise that he thinks he can do it. He had been unprepared last time; not known how the beast before him moved, not expecting something so strong and so fast to be his adversary. His muscles burn from stopping the sheer strength of the beast's claws, and he knows his own reiatsu is being sapped also – but he has stamina. He has trained so hard for this, hours upon hours in the Eleventh Division training grounds, until his sword slipped from fingers raw with blisters and too numb to grip Zabimaru's hilt any longer. He hadn't been strong enough to protect those lost friends, who are now just headstones on a lonely hilltop. He hadn't been strong enough to stay by Rukia's side, to save her from Kaien's death, from Aizen's plot, from her own execution...

_Ichigo _had done that.

This thing had taken over Ichigo

This thing had hurt his friends.

Had made _Rukia _hurt.

This time, he will be strong

His anger rises, tinting his vision in red as the force of his reiatsu lashes the air around him to gale force.

Renji roars, redoubling his efforts, Zabimaru jarring in his hands as claws deflect the from the beast's neck, and the smooth flow of the blade turns into the clang of colliding segments. He doesn't stop, but immediately whips the blade around again to try for another strike… but the beast dodges, and Zabimaru is withdrawn.

One more try… the beast is keeping its distance, as if afraid to come closer, just watching him. Is it on the run? The moonlight glints from the blade as Zabimaru extends for the third attack, speeding sinuously toward the beast, and Renji feels the nue howl in his head as it reaches for blood…

And then the beast is gone, so fast he hasn't seen it move, and appearing in a flash a few metres before him. Yellow eyes strikes sparks from red, reiatsu dark and angry against fiery red.

It draws its sword, and that dark reiatsu flares, surrounding him, crushing the air from his lungs. And the beast charges, so fast Renji can barely see it, only the black blade arrowing toward his heart.

Zabimaru is already retracting, segments snapping back together to protect their owner – but compared with the speed of the attack he is facing, it seems to move in slow motion. Renji already knows the sword will not be able to shield him from the blow. He hears Rukia screaming behind him, feels the flare of her reiatsu. He feels the warmth as Orihime releases her power, but knows it will not be soon enough.

"El Directo!"

Sado's blow glances off the beast as though as it has barely noticed, but for a second it is distracted, and that second is all Renji needs to turn enough that what would have been a near-fatal blow becomes a sword through the muscle of his left arm. He clenches his teeth against the pain as the beast howls, and rips the blade from his flesh, sending blood spattering across the ground.

It withdraws, snarling, sniffing at the air as if taking in the scent of his blood, and Renji realises that it had only been toying with him. Testing him. And he…

_He was going to lose…_

But not yet. He only had to wear it down, didn't he? Maybe – just maybe – it would be enough.

The redhead raises his eyes to meet those feral yellow irises, red eyes afire with determination, as he tightens his grip on Zabimaru's hilt.

_He. Would. Not. Fail._

_

* * *

_

_Mwahahaha... cliffhanger. Ooooh, it's all hotting up. Will Renji win? Will the beastie kick everyone's arses? Will Byakuya pull the stick out his enough to show up? All will be revealed next time..._

_Yeah, I know the others probably wouldn't let Renji fight alone - but as I stated earlier, you can take the idiot out of the 11th but not the 11th out of the idiot, and Renji is so bull-headed I figured he'd want to kick the fight off. The others will get more involved now it's clear that he's not doing so well. Plus if it hadn't been mostly one-on-one it would've been REALLY disjointed without jumping to a 3rd person P.O.V. - but don't worry, I have a plan for the next chapter..._

_Hope you enjoyed reading... please tell me what you like and don't like *gives best puppy dog eyes* I promise I won't take offence!_


	16. 14 Finding My Way

_So this chapter has been doing my damned head in, as I'm sure the next one will, because battle scenes do not come naturally to me... but I'm kinda pleased with this. I do think it's pretty clear that my mind works in visuals, though, which is kinda weird because it used to work only in words. Ho-hum._

_For anyone who's interested, and as a shameless plug, I'm gonna be starting posting a Shuuhei-based story soon. Possibly yaoi, though, you have been warned. The character writer in me is just dying to try on that particular mass of contradictions - an accomplished soldier afraid of his own sword? Unbelievably calm, but his zanpakutou is the Wind of Death? Ahhh... the possibilities are endless. Keep an eye out for it, if it sounds like something you might wanna read. However, this is still my first priority, I just need to start work on that too while it's EATING MY BRAIN, dammit._

_As always - reviews are love, concrit is gratefully received and I promise not to cry if you tell me what you don't like!_

* * *

Rukia trembles inwardly as Renji straightens, blood running freely down his arm and dripping from his fingers. Her fingers itch to reach out for him, but she recognises all too well the look in his eyes. The look when he has thrown his whole being into something, heart and soul and body all bound together by the will to defeat his enemy. No matter how she curses it at times like these, without it… he wouldn't be _Renji_.

In a way, Rukia knows, he had been right. She wasn't strong enough to take the brunt of the creature's attacks head-on, the way he did. Ishida's attacks were ranged, and Chad was strong in attack, but weak in defence – and without shunpo, not fast enough to dodge those wicked claws. And Orihime… though much improved, she was too valuable as a battlefield healer. If she fell, who would help them? Who would heal the wounded? They weren't in Soul Society; Fourth Division would not come running with bandages and healing kido.

But here, watching, her heart beats so loud, so fast, powered by fear as the snarling redhead raises Zabimaru, and faces the creature again. Watching the rapid lunges and parries, she wonders if it will burst from her chest. Then the black sword tears through black fabric, drawing a spill of blood from tattooed ribs, and the heat in her chest turns instead to ice as the truth dawns on her – since drawing its sword, the beast's movements have become quicker, the ferocity of each attack greater. _Renji… Renji is losing._

She can see by the quick look he tosses her that he knows it too, and she wills him to pull back, grips the sword-hilt in her hand harder, looking for an opening, any opening.

"Bankai!" She feels the ripples of familiar energy boil around the warring figures. "Hihio Zabimaru!" And then the wrapped steel hilt in Renji's hand becomes rough, the blade a snaking spinal column of toothed and yellowed bone. Zabimaru raises its great ruffed head, parts fanged jaws, and roars at the beast before it.

An answering howl comes in return, and the beast charges, dodging the snapping jaws but deflected by the great skeletal serpent wrapping its length in a shield around Renji, and between the beast and the others. It screams, claws gouging holes in the spine-like blade, but it is Renji's reiatsu that holds Zabimaru together and the vertebrae simply knit back together behind each claw-stroke.

And then the creature leaps, orange hair whipping behind it in the wind as the beast arrows downward from the air. The slim blade pierces flesh, splinters the redhead's collarbone as it passes through, and finally emerges again at the other side.

Rukia screams.

The creature pulls its sword from Renji's body, flicking it back, blood spattering in an arc across the ground. In the cold light of the moon, the matt black blade looks like a slim void, drinking in the blood of its enemy. Black and golden eyes gaze dispassionately at the figure before it as Renji falls to his knees, as a spasm racks his body and he coughs blood at the clawed feet.

In her mind, Rukia sees again blood spurt in front of her eyes, feels its sticky heat on her skin, as Aizen attempts to cut her from his protective arms.

But here, now, she is not the powerless, weaponless creature she was atop Soukyoku hill, when all she could do was tremble while he bled, and stumbled, and fell. Sode no Shirayuki was at her side.

As the golden shield falters, and fails, Rukia meets Ishida's cool gaze, and nods.

"Tsugi no mai. Hakuren!"

The ice flows forward like an avalanche, ploughing unstoppable around obstacles which freeze in its path, and a fanged mouth opens wide in a howl as the beast is caught in her trap.

She feels the crackle of cool reiatsu as Ishida's arrow speeds past her, aiming for the figure trapped in the ice. They had planned this earlier, tacticians bent over a table, considering how best to combine their moves. And by rights, it should have worked – the creature should have been frozen, unable to stop the arrow burying its barbed head into white bone – but it is stronger, faster than either of them had anticipated.

_No…!_

Rukia's heart seems to freeze in the reflection of her own attack, as shards of ice fall to the ground, and the creature screams as one clawed hand rips the arrow from its path.

In a flash, it is front of Ishida. He raises his bow protectively, but not quick enough – his lithe body is punched backwards as the sword enters his gut, and the creature withdraws his sword with a snarl even as it throws the now-limp body of the archer away from it with one clawed hand.

Chad releases a blow that would have levelled a hollow, but a bone-white hand closes around the armoured flesh. A sickening crack leaves the tall man's arm hanging at an unnatural angle, and when the monster tosses him away, his head impacts a wall with a crack. Chad slumps, eyes closed, the giant defeated without ever truly releasing his strength.

Golden eyes turn to her.

_Her attacks are no good… it is too fast for her circles and storms of ice. She stands no chance. Soon she will fall, and…_

Behind her eyes she sees her life. An endless stream of people passing her by. Childhood friends buried beneath the earth. Kaien, bleeding in her arms, Sode no Shirayuki stained dark with his blood. Forgotten names, forgotten faces, a blur of not belonging, until Ichigo…

_Ichigo had brought her back… had given her friendship... had made her realise that she didn't **have **to let them go…_

The universe closes around her, to the thundering of her own heartbeat and the golden irises in black sclera, sucking her in, paralysing her. She cannot breathe. She cannot move. She cannot think…

"Ichigo…" She mouths the words, but he doesn't see her, doesn't understand.

She sees muscles tense, sees the beast lunge for her.

And then yellow eyes are eclipsed by black, and red, and the sound of her heart is broken by laboured breathing and growled words.

"Not… her… You dumb KID!"

Rukia sees the tip of the blade emerge from the side of his torn shihakusho, and feels the spike of his reiatsu as he stumbles backwards, and she feels the warm wetness of his blood as it soaks her uniform.

"Renji!"

Attack forgotten, she grabs for him as he falls, but he is larger and heavier than her and all she can do is slow his slide to the ground enough to prevent the worst of the blow. His eyes meet hers, and her own widen in shock as she realises the expression on his face is one of apology.

Tearing her eyes away, she lifts her head to the monster before her, her determination finally bursting the dam around her heart and running like steel through her veins. This time when she meets golden eyes, she feels only calm, tightening her grip on the silk-wrapped hilt in her hand, Sode no Shirayuki's strength joining her own.

_She didn't have to let them go._

"Ichigo." She says it aloud this time, and the beast growls as she lifts her sword.

And then its head rears back, eyes on something… above her? Behind her?

A voice clear and cold with anger cuts the silence.

"Chire, Senbonzakura."

* * *

_Ha haaaaaa! Byakuya has come to save the day. Or night, I suppose. But is he a match for the monster? Tune in next time to find out..._

_Re-reading this I think I may have surpassed myself in verbosity, hope it wasn't too melodramatic :P Still, hope you enjoyed reading, and cheers very much for sticking with me!_

_See you all next time :)_


	17. 15 Blood and Broken Glass

_Raaaaah! An update. Thank god. I'm really struggling with the writers block lately, I swear having a 'proper' job is turning me into a soul-less corporate zombie. Plus, I kinda screwed myself with the set-up from the last chapter. But, hopefully this should be good - a bit less action, but another... surprising appearance, let's say :)_

_Enough crap from me... gotta get on with it :)_

* * *

Helpless, useless, again….

She had promised herself she would get stronger… had promised herself she would help him. But all Orihime can hear is the thumping of her own heart, as she watches Ishida and Sado taken out in the space of a breath, Renji's blood splashing over a white-boned arm and Rukia's torn shihakusho, and sees the slim black blade begin to descend toward wide, determined amethyst eyes.

_Ku….chiki….san…_

Her fingers are already flying to her hairpins, her stomach twisted with that awful knowledge that she will be too late. That she had once again just stood by and done nothing, nothing while her friends were butchered.

And then… The arc of the blade is stopped by a thousand shimmering, shining petals.

Orihime feels her shaking legs give way beneath her, and she falls, barely even aware of the scrape of gravel against bare skin or the sting of her knees hitting the ground though the sheer weight of her own relief.

Grey eyes, cold in a face devoid of passion, regard the scene – not a detail missed, not a wound unobserved, and she shivers under that penetrating gaze.

"Enough."

A growl is Byakuya's only answer. Those eyes flicker towards the upturned face of his sister, determination now replaced by confusion and slowly dawning hope, and the blood trickling from the mouth of the figure held in her arms.

"I would prefer not to have to train a new fukutaicho so soon."

A bone-white mask is raised to the sky, a howl echoing through the bloody tang of the air. And battle is joined.

Orihime watches for a few moments in shock. So fast… her eyes can't keep up with the swirl of delicate, viciously pointed petals and the flicker of black blade and blood-stained claws. What she does catch is glances of masks… of yellow-black eyes in bone white, or cold grey in impassive porcelain. Her heart lurches, and her fists clench at her sides.

_There is nothing… nothing she can do…_

Except…

The scent of blood pervades her nostrils, and she tears her eyes from the fight going on in the sky above them.

Ishida… Sado… Renji…

She looks toward Kuchiki-san first, holding Renji in her arms, her face stained with tears as her lips move in silent entreaties. Renji… but… her eyes move away, towards Ishida's crumpled form, his white uniform increasingly stained by red. At the unnatural angle of Sado's metal-sheened arm…

_They weren't shinigami… only human… could they…_

Paralysed by indecision, Orihime stares between her fallen friends. She has to make the right decision! If she goes to the wrong one first… any one of them…

_It would be her fault… if they died because she chose wrongly!_

"Ah! Rukia-sama!"

Orihime hears the cry behind them, sees Rukia's eyes widen in shock and her head slowly swivel until her disbelieving sight rests on a nervous figure clad in black, the characteristric green strap of the fourth division's first aid pouch across his chest.

"Hana… tarou?"

Orihime allows herself to breathe again as the small medic hurries to her friend's side. Thank god… His arrival breaks her paralysis, and quickly, she crawls to Sado's side, the giant Mexican being the closest. Checking him over quickly, she is relieved to see that, though his arm is certainly broken and in more than one place, his life itself doesn't seem to be in danger. That means…

Ishida. He is conscious, barely, eyes screwed up tight in pain and breathing ragged.

"In…oue…" he manages to croak out when she reaches him, her eyes widening at the gaping wound in his gut. She is almost grateful that the pumping of blood from the wound is enough to block her sight of her friend's torn entrails.

"Hold on," she tells him, concentrating on the wound already as she calls out her healing powers. The glowing golden light surrounds her hands, then spreads to envelop the archer as Ayame and Shuno'o quickly get to work.

"Inoue…" Ishida wheezes her name again, and she frowns.

"You shouldn't talk, Ishida-kun. Just rest for now. You'll feel better soon," she encourages, concerned about the weak state of her friend.

Ishida's lips curve, very slightly, and he allows his eyes to close as he feels the warmth of her healing begin to encroach against the darkness threatening him.

With Ishida quiet, Orihime once again lifts her eyes to the sky. She can still make out little of the blurred battle taking place above their heads.

_I couldn't stop them being hurt…_

She feels a tear begin to well in her left eye, and blinks it away fiercely, trying to focus on pouring her energy into the form before her.

_I couldn't help them…_

Another tear welling up, and she sniffs. Was this her role? To stand by uselessly as her friends got hurt? What if they had been hurt worse? What if Hanatarou hadn't come? If she hadn't got to Ishida in time… if she'd gone to Renji first…

_It'd be her fault they died…_

And now was just the same. She could help them, but only after they'd been hurt… and she couldn't do anything to help the battle she could hear, if not quite see. Kuchiki-taicho was fighting against that thing… he was protecting them…

_But…_

Above her, combatants part, blood staining the perfect haori of the Sixth Division Captain. Orihime watches in amazement, fear clutching at her heart as the sword slips from his grasp, falling tip-first towards the earth.

_Had he lost…?_

And then the word comes, barely hearable, the Captain's voice as quiet and controlled as always.

"_Bankai."_

And now, there are a hundred, a thousand swords disintegrating into vicious metallic petals, so many that she can no longer see the figures before her. Until the petals begin to move purposefully, twisting themselves into fierce, fact attacks, and a howl echoes once again through the night sky as the battle begins anew.

_He was fighting for them…_

_Except…_

How could anything survive that battle? So many blades… if that were to hit anyone, even… even…

_Ichigo…_

The tear finally escapes, leaving a heated track down her cheek as it falls.

_I don't know what to do…_

Kuchiki-taicho was fighting to help them, to stop the.. the… thing… but…

_But that thing was Ichigo…_

And he had fought for all of them so many times, saved them that many times, and if Kuchiki-taicho couldn't stop him… if he could stop him…

"Ku…"

The whisper escapes her lips, more tears coursing hotly down her cheeks as she forces her eyes to stay on the swirl of a thousand miniscule sword fragments, on the swipe and cackle of claws. Orihime would swear at that moment that her insides have contracted together, every organ twisting itself into knots from the sheer force of her distress.

"Ku… ro…"

_I don't know what to do…_

"Kuro… saki…"

_I don't know how to help him!_

"Kurosaki-kun!"

No longer a whisper, her agonised cry seems to echo through the sky, bounce off a million tiny blades, magnifying and growing until it seems to shake the air around them.

And, amazingly, it all stops. Byakuya – Kuchiki-taicho – has fallen to one knee, breathless, his haori torn and blood dripping from one hand. But Orihime's eyes are focused only on one figure. On only one set of eyes – yellow irises in black sclera, focused on _her_.

And it growls that odd, tight sound that almost sounds like her name.

And then lunges, straight for her.

"Kurosaki-kun!"

She barely feels the whisper of movement, of something, someone, passing her… her wide, frightened eyes are focused only on the black-streaked mask and the black blade aimed at her heart.

Until the shadowy figure appears behind the lunging body, and a voice – almost _amused_ – speaks, even as quick, tan hands thrust some unseen object through the hollow space in the middle of the bone-white chest.

"Yare yare, Ichigo, that's no way to treat a pretty girl…"

And yellow and black eyes widen, and…

Disappear.

And Yoruichi lands neatly, on her feet – of course, orihime thinks dumbly, cats always land on their feet – and glances back casually at a panting Sixth Division Captain.

"Maaaa, Byakuya-bo, I thought you'd be fast enough to take him by now!"

* * *

_Alright, so I wimped out on actually describing the fight between Byakuya and Ichigo. Sorry, but a) I'm not great at fight scenes and b) even if I was, there was no way in hell I was gonna manage to describe the movement of a MILLION PETAL BLADES. Plus, it wouldn't have fit in with any of my character viewpoints, and I'm not breaking story structure and flow to change it._

_But a note on this chapter, before people complain that Byakuya couldn't have held off a full-hollow Ichi:_

_Yes, you're probably right. Except, first, Byakuya wasn't expecting Ichi's hollow mask, and was taken by surprise - in this timeline, this battle is taking place two years after that, and you can bet Byakuya's done his research and come up with something that might stand a BIT of a chance against a hollow Ichigo._

_Second, here, we don't know why Ichi's gone full hollow. In the manga, when he went, it was to protect Orihime - well, she wasn't around this time, so there's gotta be some other reason (which may be revealed later). Also, in this story, hollow Ichi has irises, whereas if you look at the manga, he didn't... so, this is a slightly different situation and, in my eyes, since Ichi is all about protecting people, without that someone to protect he;s just not as strong._

_Lastly, Byakuya hasn't beat him, just worn him down... which was the whole point in the first place :)_

_Anyway... comments, criticisms and thoughts are welcome and encouraged, please...! _

_Btw, I actually watched the Hollow-Ichi/Ulquiora fight in the anime the other day and was quite impressed. I'd sort of given up on the anime when the last filler arc started (though I did watch a couple episodes, and it seemed a damn sight better than the last two) but maybe I should give it another go. At the mo, I'm just praying that Kubo has a bit more up his sleeve... we've only had once proper 'twist' in months._

_I've also still not got around to posting that Shuuhei-centric story... mainly because I'm blocked on the first chapter. Which is annoying, because I've already written chapters 2 and 3. Dammit._

_Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading and as always, please let me know what you think - loved it, hated it, spotted a spelling mistake, want to beat me over the head and tell me to get on with it, whatever works for you :)  
_


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